#1
Stillborn Society

Holding down the little ones
And bleeding their rights
So add another bar to the cage
Depleat the will to fight

Wounds that will never heal
How is this pro-civilization?
Show me proof of a better reality
Elusive as it seems

Dead before they've opened up their eyes
Bleed the scars of a stillborn society

Morality of a nation burned
Beat down and left for dead
Cast aside; segregation
Who decides where we lay our heads?

Destoying the enemy
The riddance of your fears
Fighting terror with terror
As no conclusion draws near

Dead before they've opened up their eyes
Bleed the scars of a stillborn society

"There's no elation
Black with degration
There is no hope"

The deaf are still leading the blind
One thousand furies are screaming out
Bleed the scars of a stillborn society



***if you wanna hear the song, here is a link to an MP3 file,

http://www.esnips.com/doc/7024799d-efd4-4647-9db4-75ed21dc8ff2/stillbornfullmixdown

this is the demo version so far.
#2
The ideas in the song are really good, it's definately a keeper. However, I think that if you made the lyrics a little less dark/ gruesome it would be more effective, just my opinion though.
"They credited us with the birth of that sort of heavy metal thing. Well, if that's the case, there should be an immediate abortion." - Ginger Baker

Quote by alexlemon2
I've been here long enough, and nobody knows who teh fudge I am


I cry at night
#3
Quote by hippy12
The ideas in the song are really good, it's definately a keeper. However, I think that if you made the lyrics a little less dark/ gruesome it would be more effective, just my opinion though.



+1 to that entire post. I like metal...But I always think that metal on paper is a little odd, particularly when it's especially heavy.

But, definitely keep it.
Quote by Demonikk
+1
I live by the method: 3 or less orange warning labels, and it's safe as a kitten


Quote by Charlatan_001
EDIT: Sammcl pretty much got it dead on.
#4
well if you really wanna think of it as dark/gruesome, ok...i'll give you that...but this is an anti war song...and war is pretty gruesome...at least I got the point across, right?
#5
I like it, pretty well written, I can't think of anything to change or I'd give it an actual crit.
Last edited by HLrocker at Oct 14, 2007,