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#1
Kind of a morbid thought, but an inevitable one.

What does everybody want their funeral to be like?

Personally I don't want people crying, though I'm sure there's no way of preventing that.

Also, I want to hire a puppeter to control my dead body and make it so I can give a speech with a tape I've prerecorded.
#3
just a straight up party... no crying would be great, although it's sure to happen, even if I end up being a cranky ass douche bag old man. Good music. Nothing corny like "Dust in the Wind" at a cremation spreading or something like that.
#4
Pretty damn sure this has been done before...


But for the final time, i want Mr. Tambourine Man playing as they shoot my ashes out of a cannon.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

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#5
Quote by I love weed

Also, I want to hire a puppeter to control my dead body and make it so I can give a speech with a tape I've prerecorded.


Haha thats awesome!

I don't know what I'd like at my funeral.. to be honest I don't really care.. as long as there is no religion involved.
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#6
Freebird shall be played. Followed closely by stairway to heaven. And I'll put this somewhere in my will, but everyone at the funeral will join in a mosh pit to Children of Bodom's "If you want peace, prepare for war"
#7
Quote by I love weed
Kind of a morbid thought, but an inevitable one.

What does everybody want their funeral to be like?

Personally I don't want people crying, though I'm sure there's no way of preventing that.

Also, I want to hire a puppeter to control my dead body and make it so I can give a speech with a tape I've prerecorded.


If you don't want people to cry, be an asshole to EVERYBODY until you die. That way, they'll be happy you're gone.
#8
Personally funeral's are stupid when you are alive everybody is trying to **** your life but when you are dead everybody is crying saying how much they are gonna miss you and ****...People make up your mind...
#9
Quote by wylde_overdrive
If you don't want people to cry, be an asshole to EVERYBODY until you die. That way, they'll be happy you're gone.


True
#10
Quote by x_thurston_x


But for the final time, i want Mr. Tambourine Man playing as they shoot my ashes out of a cannon.

I didn't realize you are Hunter S. Thompson....
My all gold grills give her cold chills
Said she gotta coke feel cuz I'm sooo trill.
#12
Lmfao, my friends and I planned this out in gym class last year.
It's an awfully long story....
i look down at my hands,
like they were mirrors.
#13
Basically, I don't want everyone boo-hooing everywhere, "Oh, she was a part of our lives and we'll miss her.." all that sh*t.

I want cool music at my funeral too, like Minor Key Symphony by Cauterize instead of a boring Funeral March.
#14
My gf and i usually go to the local graveyard to cure boredom, and we talked about this before.

I just want her and her daughter at mine. A plain gravestone with my name and birth/death date. I don't want any crying bull****, fancy ass gravestone with sappy poems and silk-lined casket. I want it to be as easy as possible on my family's money expenses.

EDIT: and **** the cocksuckers who i haven't seen in 5 dozen years who only show up to get a piece of the will. I'll come back and haunt the **** outta you.
#15
i want mine to be a freaking party. booze all around.
and im going to have the kiss casket. and fire works....
yea. its going to be sweet.
but, basically one big drunken party
#16
I'm gonna make everyone sit through all 19 minutes of Diamond Sea by Sonic Youth while my eulogy is being given. Then we crank the P-funk, pass out glasses of SoCo and Dr. Pepper and party.


The real fun comes when they have to watch my video will (which I will film in the nude)
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#19
Quote by RHCP94
I didn't realize you are Hunter S. Thompson....


nah but you get 100 brownie points for being the first to realize where i got it from.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#21
i want job for a cowboy playing in the background while people mosh around my cold dead body and finally when its all over be cremated and have my ashes thrown out into the sea =]

pretty elaborate i know, but thats the way i like it

Edit: the reason i want people to mosh is cuz thats where id wanna die, not them moshing at the funeral. then not really a funeral, just burn me.
pay me the same amount and ill give you better head than an amp ever could.


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Last edited by Headbanger_1 at Oct 14, 2007,
#22
i like how everyone talks about having a crazy f*cking party funeral.

lets be honest. everyone here is most likely going to have a normal funeral with normal music.

and no cannons or puppets.
#23
I'm tired of people saying "I don't want people to cry at my funeral". I want people to ****in' bawl. Then I will release a video telling them how it is their constant bickering that has killed me. Oh, and no chairs. I want lawnchairs, so people will feel uncomfortable sitting up straight and be forced to lay down. The funeral will close with a random episode of "Fraiser". Glorious. Oh, and Sonic Youth's 19-minute "The Diamond Sea" will be played.

Oh, and plus a bazillion to the guy who said people would have to sit through all of Sonic Youth's "The Diamond Sea". I have a shortened video of it in my UGspace.
My all gold grills give her cold chills
Said she gotta coke feel cuz I'm sooo trill.
Last edited by RHCP94 at Oct 14, 2007,
#24
Just Simple Man by Skynyrd played. Small funeral. Not in a church. Cremated, ashes spread on Grandfather Mountain in NC.
"This is The End, beautiful friend, The End"
#25
Quote by RHCP94
I'm tired of people saying "I don't want people to cry at my funeral". I want people to ****in' bawl. Then I will release a video telling them how it is their constant bickering that has killed me. Oh, and no chairs. I want lawnchairs, so people will feel uncomfortable sitting up straight and be forced to lay down. The funeral will close with a random episode of "Fraiser". Glorious. Oh, and Sonic Youth's 19-minute "The Diamond Sea" will be played.

Oh, and plus a bazillion to the guy who said people would have to sit through all of Sonic Youth's "The Diamond Sea". I have a shortened video of it in my UGspace.


Dude, you are f*cking amazing...

where have you been all my life??
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#26
I took part of this from Nick Swardson, but it's a great idea.

So, I would have some of my favorite music playing, have all of my guitars buried with me, and it would be a more joyous occasion.

But, when I die, I will have a closed casket, and someone invite John Stamos to my funeral. He would be told not to talk to ANYONE, and he would pull off a fake cry. Just to mess with people.

"*cry cry* I can't believe Jonathan's dead *cry cry* he was just so *sudden pause*....Oh my god... is that John Stamos? That's John Stamos! Did Jonathan know John Stamos? Was he related in some way? I can' believe that John Stamos!"

Then he would just leave, and everyone would be confused.

Then, right after he leaves, all the lights will be turned out, and my body will be lowered from the rafters in darkness, and I will be wearing an MC Hammer outfit, with the genie pants and whatnot. Then tons of strobe lights will start going off, and some loud ass 65daysofstatic will play and people will be so sad/angry/shocked, but they won't be able to resist the urge to rock out to the amazing music and strobe lights.

Then, I'll be lowered into my guitar filled casket, and I will rest in piece with an ever lasting track list of my favorite music coming from a speaker.

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#27
Quote by x_thurston_x
Dude, you are f*cking amazing...

where have you been all my life??

In your closet. Videotaping you masturbating. Thank you, though. That was very nice of you.
My all gold grills give her cold chills
Said she gotta coke feel cuz I'm sooo trill.
#28
Quote by i(ncubus)play
Just Simple Man by Skynyrd played.


love that song. good call
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#29
Well i hope my death may bring uncles family and my family together, but i think they'll be gone long before im gone.

And no matter how much you hate the song, i would want Welcome to The Black Parade playing just because the theme and lyrics fit and by that time, the song will be ancient
#30
strap me to a nuke and head out to the ocean, baby! I dont even want dust left of my lifeless body!
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#31
Quote by The Spoon
Well i hope my death may bring uncles family and my family together, but i think they'll be gone long before im gone.

And no matter how much you hate the song, i would want Welcome to The Black Parade playing just because the theme and lyrics fit and by that time, the song will be ancient


What would it take to be on your hitlist?
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#32
how many times do I have to say it...
so... it will be a closed casket... everyone will think I'm in there, but no... they will all be crying when suddenly my body will drop down from the ceiling on wires and then... TECHNO MUSIC!... annnd then have my spirit will go on by dragonforce... ooooor if I get cremated "THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES WE CARRY OOOOOOON!!!!"
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#33
I'd want a funeral that loads of people came to and just bawled


also, I'd want to be creamated, with my ashes with my family, and on a beach, and on a mountain
#34
I want something along the lines of "I Won't See You Tonight Part 1" by Avenged Sevenfold. I dont know why, but I love the whole song before he starts to sing, the kind of "solo" if you prefer.
And I have to be buried with my guitar. Whatever kind it may be. (Hopefully a custom.)
And I would like to be cremated, with my ashes either put in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame, or released at some huge concert...
#35
I want a funeral on the beach... . There will be one REALLY nice chair, then the rest of the chairs will be stools. people will say their last words as my coffin drifts out to the ocean, then it will burst into flame. Then the asshole who thought he/she deserved the nice chair at my funeral, will have the chair blow up, killing him/her. I will then have someone swim out to sea, collect my ashes, then distribute them to people to smoke. lolz
#36
I'd want my funeral to be on a clif somewhere and there only to be a TV with a VCR in it. Once everyone sits down, the VCR plays and my image comes up and I tell everyone to look behind them. They look and a HUGE ****ING CATAPULT has appeared behind them and flings my naked body off the cliff into the ocean. Awesome.
There ain't no moral to this story at all. Anything I tell you very well could be a lie.
#37
I want to be cremated, and have my ashes snorted by the people closest to me.
Number 9
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#38
i dont want a funeral
funerals are boring
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#39
A comedian here in Australia, Wil Anderson, said he wants to be cremated, but with a tape playing of *bang* *bang* "Oh God *bang* What's happening! It's so hot... *bang* I'm not dead help me *bang* *bang*


I think I have natural talent for guitar because I'm left handed and I use that hand to pleasure myself. Seeing as I started playing after most of intense masturbating-teen years, the dexterity was already there.
#40
i want my funeral to be before i die, so i can party with them. maybe ill die FROM that party, like too much heroine/coke/whiskey/loud music/go-go dancers.

that would ROCK.
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