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#1
Some unfortunate events have led my mom to become depressed. She is beginning to blame her bad experiences on her kids, her family, and her friends. She has trouble keeping a social life and blames everyone else for this. She doesn't sleep well anymore, she doesn't eat well anymore, and she doesn't act like the mom I used to know.

She recently started threatening to shoot herself. She says with her death, her kids would be better off. She says that we'd "smile on her grave". This is of course not true, we love her so much. Yet she never fails to tell me how "no one cares about her," or "how she so ugly", or that she "should have died when she was a baby".

She's holding grudges, she crys all the time, she complains about how she's "so old" (she's 55), and she throws things when she gets angry.

Stubborn as she is, she won't go out of the house apon my asking. How can I get her help? I'd like her to go see a therapist, and maybe a doctor.

Please, someone, how can I help my mom?
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#2
Therapist.
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one, Carmel.



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#4
you cant really do it on your own. seek some help man
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#6
Quote by benjy118
Therapist.


Quote by thatoneday
Stubborn as she is, she won't go out of the house apon my asking. How can I get her help? I'd like her to go see a therapist, and maybe a doctor.




But to TS that sucks man I was in the same situation awhile ago with a close friend. The worst part is if they don't want help there's a good chance they won't get it
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#7
ive been throught that. except my mum was much more self centered and horrible. she kicked me out during my GCSEs. i just gave up trying and i havnt spoken to her in nearly 2 years. at first i felt sorry for her but then it just got too much that i just started to hate her.

dont let it get that bad. get her some therapy
#8
How long has this been going on?
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#9
Quote by guitarhero_764
Why is she depressed?


Many reasons. She was hurt in an accident, and her medical bill speaked 70 grand. She asked the offender's insurance to pay for the bills, nothing more, but in court they denied her anything but 10 grand.

Another big one is her loneliness. I'm away most of the day, as is my sister. All she has is her daycare kids and her grandson. Holding grudges, she refuses to talk to her friends.
wow.
#10
Call a GP to visit her. If she wont leave the house to see a doctor, let the doctor visit her.
It's incredibly upsetting hearing your parents talking about killing themselfs. I know, i've been there.
#11
Quote by thatoneday
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Stubborn as she is, she won't go out of the house apon my asking. How can I get her help? I'd like her to go see a therapist, and maybe a doctor.


Get a Therapist or Doctor to do a house call?
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



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#12
Yeah, that's way tough. Like others have said, get other people in on this. This isn't a one person job.
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#13
tell her that you love her and need her and say it at least once a day.

find a way of showing ur great appreciation for her

EDIT: and therapist
#14
Tell her that a massive online community of hot guitarists care about her. That should make ANYONE's day better. (Just as long as they don't find out what we're REALLY like...)
Wolfie, Moley, Witty, Dgmey, Grundy
#15
Quote by Kroach
How long has this been going on?


About a year and a half ago is when I first noticed her changes.
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#16
Man I go through the same problems everyday with my mom. She has battled depression for years and has been to countless doctors, but none of them seem to be able to help here. When you were describing your mom she sounds excactly like mine, if I hadn't known better I would say that you were talking about my mother.
#17
Quote by thatoneday
Many reasons. She was hurt in an accident, and her medical bill speaked 70 grand. She asked the offender's insurance to pay for the bills, nothing more, but in court they denied her anything but 10 grand.

Another big one is her loneliness. I'm away most of the day, as is my sister. All she has is her daycare kids and her grandson. Holding grudges, she refuses to talk to her friends.


youve gotta get of this website and tend to her man. tom cruise is a tool but he said he believes that depression is not beatable by pills but exercise...you need to shake her out of it with some exercise. always works.
#19
i myself have been depressed since early high skool (im 21).. and it can be very hard. Your mom may not have recently become depressed, but is just at an all new low. and it can be VERY hard.

but i have always found that honest love brings a smile to my face and warms my soul. the love i get from my baby nephew is amazing, he knows no hate or shyness about his affection and that always brightens me up.

go up to your mom, give her the biggest most lovin hug you can muster, and say "mum i love you, things are going to be ok"
#20
Try starting by just spending some time with her, nothing special.. and see how she reacts to that. Have you tried talking about it with your sister? (older younger?)
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#21
Get a therapist. Tell her that you love her all the time. And do little but nice things for her. They count.

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#22
Quote by wizards?
what are we supposed to do? We don't know her. Not to belittle the situation, but really what can we do??? just get her to see a therapist or have an intervention.

Ass, he's just looking for advice and encouragement. Be nice; you'd want the same if you were in the situation.

Interventions are for crackheads; this needs to start from a non-aggressive family talk. Maybe she can join a support group or therapy if she's willing. If not you just need to support her. If she's self-destructive, then you need to make the decision for her.

But I'm not any kind of professional, so the best bet is to ask a doctor of some kind.
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#23
people go through depression like this sometime during their life. The only thing you might be able to do is wait it out. Or you could convince her to take therapy, but he is probably just going to medicate her.
#24
Depression sucks more than anything bro, just show your mom how much you love her, and even if she does just seem to throw all your love to the side. You have to get her to start taking medicine, it does help alot.
#25
Get her to see a doctor, then the doctor can assess and recommend the next course of action and if she needs therapy.
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#26
i love how kids post this stuff on UG. i'm sorry about your problem but theres nothing you can do but have her go to a therapist, the pit cant help you
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#27
Quote by Kroach
Try starting by just spending some time with her, nothing special.. and see how she reacts to that. Have you tried talking about it with your sister? (older younger?)


My sister is much older, 25, but can't help much. They always fight when their together.

I'm going to make contact with one of her best friends, and ask her to help. She has helped before and is a great influence on my mom.

What scares me is her threats. I'm gonna do a search and try to find where she hides her father's pistol. She's at the point where she can't think straight. I honestly don't know if she could harm herself.
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#28
lol talk about it! my mums been having a depression for probably 2 years but to be honest, however ****ed up it sounds, I couldn't give a rats ass. It's a messed up situation in my house but basically, she makes me and my dad feel ****ing miserable so as far as I'm concerned, she can ****ing die anytime
#29
I dont think this is the place to be asking..... I feel really bad for you and your family, but it sounds like she needs a therapist and some meds A.S.A.P. I wish you the best of luck.
#30
Next time she threatens to kill herself or anything like that, call 911 and tell the operator your mother is suicidal and talking about killing herself. With repeated complaints they can commit her to a behavioral science unit(psyche ward) in your local hospital and help her get straightened out.
#31
Quote by gigi666
lol talk about it! my mums been having a depression for probably 2 years but to be honest, however ****ed up it sounds, I couldn't give a rats ass. It's a messed up situation in my house but basically, she makes me and my dad feel ****ing miserable so as far as I'm concerned, she can ****ing die anytime

....
Quote by Douche ©
I may not be cool off the internet, but on the internet I am pretty cool.

Aww

The Pit Cliff Notes:
Quote by SOADfreak6
myabe we all suck thats why were sitting at a computer desk talking **** thro the enternet lol


If not all of us, at least him.

<//////>~
#32
Quote by thatoneday

Another big one is her loneliness. I'm away most of the day, as is my sister. All she has is her daycare kids and her grandson. Holding grudges, she refuses to talk to her friends.


And you don't know what to do???? QUIT whatever is keeping you from spending time with her. Whatever it is, its not worth it.
We're only strays.
#33
the NHS website says that if someone considers suicide you should phone an ambulance straight away...that seems a little extreme to me, getting rushed off in an ambulance sucks at the best of times.

if i were you, i'd phone your doctor or a helpline like childline or the samaritans, and ask them what they think you should do. it's their job to help people out in situations like this
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#34
Quote by gigi666
lol talk about it! my mums been having a depression for probably 2 years but to be honest, however ****ed up it sounds, I couldn't give a rats ass. It's a messed up situation in my house but basically, she makes me and my dad feel ****ing miserable so as far as I'm concerned, she can ****ing die anytime

I hope you're joking....
#35
I was in nearly the exact same situation with my mom, just me and her in the house...EVentually i nearly killed her myself

Quote by nosushi4you
I hope you're joking....

Hes not thats how i felt too, you have no idea
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#36
hey! im 26 years old and i too suffer from depression. i grew up in a similar situation as it is in my family. growing up like this is not easy and im sure that writing this in this forum isnt the easiest thing either.
what about your father? is he around? does she have any close friends you could confide in and ask for their help? i can tell you that she will only benefit if she wants the help. this disease is a tricky one and if not treated can get worse. you need to talk to her! explain your concerns, let her know that yeah she is the mom but she would do the same thing if it was the other way around...tell her that you are scared.....tell her that you love her and need her to get better!!
Theres also the situation of her age. my mom is about the same age and is going thru this thing called "pre-menopause" it can have the same symptoms as depression sometimes. a simple regiment of herbal supplements may be able to balance this out.
talking to a shrink as bad as it seems really is one way to work out the suppressed emotion that is raging inside her. this is not your fault! it is just the way she physically handles stress...it can come back to haunt if not released at the time...i can relate...if you have a family Dr. give them a try as well......they may have some better ideas.
keep your chin up my friend!!! things will work out! try to help out around home to make things easier....but just make sure you make her feel as thou she is needed as well... sending hugs yer way!!!!!
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#37
Dude, that situation sucks. Many people have been through it. Find some way to get her to a doctor is all I can advise. Really that's all anyone here should advise.
#40
Ok, I had a good conversation with her best friend.

We are going to try and get part of the family together for an inteverntion type event, and prove to her that we need her.

Here's a little, uh, problem. Her mother once destroyed her house by keeping 200 pidgeons inside it, and keeping everything that came to her possession. My mom once said, "I will never leave this life leaving such a mess to my family to deal with". Now, years later, she is a major pack rat and, although no birds, has kept everything and our home is a disaster. Now she's trying to clean it up, but at the same time she might be preparing herself for...something that I need to stop from happening.
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