#1
Forty paces and a setting sun
Blood red sky and a loaded gun
I shot your boys down, one by one
So tonight, it’s just you and me.

(Chorus)
Tonight,
In the wind and the flames,
At the beggars feet,
All the nobles came.
And the orphan holds
A general's rank.
Tonight, it’s just you and me.

Short lives are lives hard won
The sky is falling babe; there’s nowhere to run
Even the ragweed and sage are shunned
Cause tonight, it’s just you and me

Death on my tongue, glare in my eyes
Quick to the draw, but slow to rise
Felt my life go, and to God I cried
Tonight, it’s just you and me

(Break)

(Outro)
The sun rose up
With my life pooled about me
And kept on rising
As you stood beside me
And I heard you cry
And curse my name
Draw your steel from your thigh
And fire again
And you crumpled and fell
With your hair in my face
And whispered so softly
Like a lover’s embrace
...
Tonight ,boy...
It’s just you, boy...
And me.

To give you a little musical context, it's very slow, in Am, with just banjo and vox. Crit for crit, of course.
Member of the EHX Guild

Yamaha SG500B
Danelectro Fish 'n' Chips EQ
EHX Russian Big Muff
Roland Cube 30
Jake will suffice.

Join the revolution, GG&A.
#2
i like it, especially the first verse, strong imagery, nice flow, and good rhyme.
#4
Wow that is really good. I enjoyed reading it, wish I could write like that!
#6
Wow. lot's of positive comments. i appreciate it, guys. I was kinda looking for constructive criticism, though... now that we have the constructive part, maybe somebody with some criticisms? Thanks in advance.
Member of the EHX Guild

Yamaha SG500B
Danelectro Fish 'n' Chips EQ
EHX Russian Big Muff
Roland Cube 30
Jake will suffice.

Join the revolution, GG&A.