#1
i seriously hate the last line, any suggestions for change are much welcome. thanks!


Lost but not gone
Crawling beneath broken windows you see
The lights on but nobody’s home anymore
Inside the rooms there’s no words on the walls
No cries for salvation
No love to believe, no fears to relieve
The end of an era we don’t recall ever beginning
It’s just always been this

The paths lie ahead
Twisted and rocky each way that we choose
An easier way we will never come to
Winning this fight will not ever make up
For the heart that we’re losing
Compassion dismissed as weakness in this,
A world that we own, that we love, that we kill to find meaning
Or is it just for the thrill

Found and now gone
The lives that we left are now burnt to the ground
Piles of ashes like mountains of earth
Towering out of the vastness ahead
We can’t make the climb
And the coals at our feet will burn till we meet
The end of this era we’ve mourned since the very beginning
Will we ever see the end
#2
"are we near the end of the fight that needs winning" an idea for the last line, but i dont see anything wrong with the last line you have got, good set of words you have, i like it
#3
i liked it a lot. but i agree with you, i don't really like the last line. its kinda cheesy.

i like the use of repetition in the first & last verses. the second verse is my fave tho.
#4
"will this fight ever end" or "will we fight until the end" thats what i would write, but in the end its up to you.
When in doubt, sweep it out
#5
ever listen to staind? "the lights are on, but you're not home. You've drifted off, somewhere alone, somewhere that safe, the question here, a quiet place, where you hide from your fears...."

This whole thing reminded me a lot of staind, or cold. Its Good but the lights on statement feels over used and unorginal, and the ending.... would you like some whine with that cheese? :P

"Is the end near"

try that, or maybe you were really wanting that kind of line.

Why not just put

"lost but not gone" as the last line
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