There are four kinds of sex:

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

I prefer goatse threads to this.
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Quote by IcePh0enix
I thought this thread would be more like:

Crazy **** you can't even post on UG

You forgot ear sex. (Unless you don't watch Family Guy)
The Pit. The Movie.
not really funny =/
<Raven> I got so baked last night
<Raven> that I WOKE UP high o_o
<Raven> Do you have any idea how euphoric that is?
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Quote by CousticStrangla
Well i mean...


go on...
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

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Quote by Spay
You forgot ear sex. (Unless you don't watch Family Guy)

Rofl I do, but the title only has 4. I could think of many different ways .
This thread is.....a waste of space!!
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Man, know your audience.

Telling a divorce joke to a bunch of 12 year olds isn't going to work...
Quote by gen0doom
What about SELF SEX? And NO SEX????

...It's like you're describing my life
Missle Silo Sex is the best.
My all gold grills give her cold chills
Said she gotta coke feel cuz I'm sooo trill.
Quote by gen0doom
What about SELF SEX? And NO SEX????

Quote by bassboy 999
Cheers to you triple x maniac

Quote by snipelfritz
Wait, your dick is in a chick's ass, and you're complaining.

Its a sad, sad day.
Quote by CousticStrangla
Damn, I forgot 99% of people here are 12.

Well to be perfectly fair, it wasn't the best of jokes...
Heard these before, you forgot

SMURF SEX - When you first meet and have sex till you're blue in the face

We'll win something someday

Quote by Minkaro
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Oh its funny, because he says sex, like ****ing, like being ****ed in the court! Its funny because he played on words! He funny! He funny!
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Quote by Jackolas
What about "you must be getting no SEX to make a thread like this"?

I resent that! There are rock formations out there getting more sex than me and you don't see me making these threads now do you?
This only makes me think of those stupid myspace bulletins.

Only actual 12 year olds would laugh at that, I think.
"Button my white shirt
Put on some old ragged shoes.
Facade or the truth?"
does this thing need a thread of its own, and i read this somewhere before, still funny lol...that's a good reason not to get married, becasue marriage = taking the spark away from your relationship, also shooting the passion with a shotgun(cobain style {R.I.P.})

and C.C. deville, i love you and your avatars, yes i do

No. Butt..Secks had has his time, in the old days.

Useless thread tbh.