#1
Still on the quest for a good song about my friend. this is try 2. this has a meiko sound to it (it's acoustic if you've never heard her)

V
My world is so far from perfect
And i take a lot for granted
But when i stop and think

I love what i have

V
I have a 2 million dollar friend
That I often treat like s***
But then she reminds me that i

need to love what i have

C
And i know i've messed up by
saying things to you i shouldn't
doing things to you that
i know a good friend wouldn't

So now day after day
I think how lucky i must be
That God put you in my life,
He's got you looking out for me

V
Just the fact you're always there
Doesn't matter when or where
Is enough to make me shout,

"Oh how i love what i have"

C

How lucky am i? 4x
Last edited by Cyclones41 at Oct 24, 2007,
#2
I likes it, from the title I was expecting some negetive song, and to read somthing that didn't make me want to shoot myself in the face was kind of refreshing, positive songs are hard to come by these days.

I like in the verses how there was no rhyme, and you still managed to make it flow, and the chorus is great too, but I would think about makeing it a bit longer, I think it would help to tie the song together if you tacked on a few lines to it.
#4
I liked this. Simple, but very effective. There are two things I would like to comment on.

1. If you decide to keep your song in AABABC*, I would recommend reharmonizing or messing with the last Verse (musically speaking). You are conveying different lyrics/emotion since you already played the chorus and it would be refreshing for the listener.

2. I really like how you use "I love what I have" as a consistent lyric in each verse. However, I have an idea/technique that I use in some of my songs, which might work here. If your interested in hearing about it, I'd be glad to give you all the details (a bit long to explain), so just send me an e-mail at Kole@Kolemusician.com when you have time and I'll let you know.

Peace.
-Kole
-Ultimate-Guitar's Songwriting Guru
-www.KoleMusician.com
-www.TheNextStepGuitar.com
#5
I liked it, cause, it's actually like a real life situation, good job.

and if you want to add a 4th verse go for it, but I don't think you really have to.