#1
Got this off melband.com.au::

You may have read recently about the person whose kidneys were stolen from him while he was passed out. Well, read on. Something like this has happened to me and countless other women.


My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else’s thighs. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull everything in. Then, just when my guard was down the thieves struck again.


My arse was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with earlier. I couldn't believe it; my new arse was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.


Last year I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I have given up short sleeved t-shirts.


Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey, which it now resembled.

I can't take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don’t you?


The next time you suspect someone has had a face 'lifted' look again. Was it 'lifted' from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!


THIS IS NOT A HOAX. THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY NIGHT.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. How paranoid am I? Last night I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I am keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!
Gear.
Peters Chimaira tube amp
Harley Benton 2xv30's
IbanezS470(evo,paf)
Jackson dinky select series USA
ESP LTD EC1000VB
MI audio boostnbuff+crunchbox
Carbon copy MXR + smart gate
#2
right....
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#3
It's meant to be a Joke!! fcccck
Gear.
Peters Chimaira tube amp
Harley Benton 2xv30's
IbanezS470(evo,paf)
Jackson dinky select series USA
ESP LTD EC1000VB
MI audio boostnbuff+crunchbox
Carbon copy MXR + smart gate
#4
Yeah, I think everybody got it. It's just that once I'd got it, I didn't want it anymore.

It's not funny and it goes on for way, WAY too long
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#6
Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh.... not really that funny sorry.
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#8
Quote by buckethead_jr
What? Really?

I thought it was real.


ITS NOT????
FUCK SHIT!!
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#9
Quote by Taylz24
ITS NOT????
FUCK SHIT!!

That's what i thought.

I was shitting myself.

Quote by Metal_Injection

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY NIGHT.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

Sounds like a myspace bulletin
#10
Quote by Jearl

...dont play Fender just because its Fender.

Gear:
Ibanez SZ520QM
Peavey Rotor EXP
Squier Bullet (heavily modified)
Mesa Roadster Head & 2x12 cab
#11
Why go to those lengths to say that when you're getting older your body'll look different...it's unecessary...