#1
Right, it's my day off college or work. (Thursday are my favourite because i don't have college or work on the same day, it's like a Sunday!).

Anyway, i woke up an hour ago and my dad had left a very disturbing message:
NO LOO ROLL, PLEASE GO AND BUY SOME

I thought "I'll go to the shop after i showered and ate breakfast and get some"
The shop is almost a mile away and a nice walk for me but the thing is:

I really need a poo

It'll take me about 30 minutes to get to the shop but i dunno if i can hold it in that long, my morning Brown Log is really to launch and i don't have any loo roll!


Ok, so i ask Ug what can i use instead of newspaper:
1. Kitchen roll?
2. Newspaper?
3. Nothing?

Please help, this is an emergancy...

Many thanks.
#5
Quote by Deliriumbassist
If you have some in the house, wet wipes. You'll never go back to loo roll after that.


Nah, i havn't got any. Good idea though.
I'm probably having to go with Kitchen roll (Bounty).
It's gonna shred my ass to peices...I know it
#6
Quote by Moggan13
Nah, i havn't got any. Good idea though.
I'm probably having to go with Kitchen roll (Bounty).
It's gonna shred my ass to peices...I know it


Bounty? That's gonna be worse than an ass raping after a vindaloo

But yeah, buy loo roll and wet wipes, and try the difference
#8
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Bounty? That's gonna be worse than an ass raping after a vindaloo

But yeah, buy loo roll and wet wipes, and try the difference



Just used Bounty. Hurt a little, bit uncomfortable, flushed well. Feel better, i'm off now to get loo roll (and wet wipes )

Thank people.
#11
Are there no shops with toilets on the way to where the loo roll is sold? :S
Quote by Nightmare_xxx
to be honest, I thought they were awful. I mean some of the songs our drummer's written was better than their stuff.
#12
Back. Got the Loo roll (Andrex) but no wet wipes...Shop dosn;t sell them!
#14
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl
What do you do when you're stranded
And there 'aint nothing on the roll?
To prove you're a man
You must wipe it with your hand
Stranded
Stranded on a toilet bowl!
#15
Quote by rich_sg
Oh come on Emz, the thread is who's your favorite UG'er, not MOST FAVORITE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!


Elecktra Of The UG Hero's And Villian's Club Pm josh999x To Join

The proud owner of [x]Huffy[x]

Quote by Heafyman
You Jackass_babe are cool.
#16
Tissues or something, and then just have a shower afterwards.

My flatmate used two sheets of A4 paper one time.
Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#17
Yellow pages are softer, i'd go with that, you need to scrunch them up first of course.
#18
Quote by FrenchyFungus
Tissues or something, and then just have a shower afterwards.

My flatmate used two sheets of A4 paper one time.


that must have been really uncomfortable
Quote by rich_sg
Oh come on Emz, the thread is who's your favorite UG'er, not MOST FAVORITE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!


Elecktra Of The UG Hero's And Villian's Club Pm josh999x To Join

The proud owner of [x]Huffy[x]

Quote by Heafyman
You Jackass_babe are cool.
#19
Quote by jackass_babe
that must have been really uncomfortable

I imagine so...hilarious though.
Populus vult decipi. Decipiatur.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's can be a contraction and genitive case.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#21
Freakin' potty n00bz! I went for nearly a year without using toilet paper.

1 - Morning coffee.

2 - Shave.

3 - Hang bathrobe on hook.

4 - Drop the kids off at the pool.

5 - Straight to the shower.

6 - ?????????

7 - PROFIT!!!
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#23
WET THE KITCHEN ROLL!!!the repeat as with wet wipes
Quote by chs170
Quote by Carl6661
Quote by chs170
Wow.

This is deep
.
Was the pun intended?
Actually no

E-married to Nikki82