#1
hey guys im new at this and need some feedback so any help would be great even though its not much its a start

i watched you fade away
come into my world
you left but its not the end
you dont want to go
but its the only way
i dont remember feeling happy
why does it have to be
never known the answers
but im glad to be at home
why does it always rain on me
it all comes undone
pieces falling out of place
a bit of time and a lot of space
couldnt help the past erase
#2
It seems t be a little cliche, not very original, but i do like the rhyme scheme and the flow of the writing, i would just try to make something a little less unheard of, or at lest some new lines that you dont here everyday.

check out my songs:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=683805 (haunted memories)
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=683809 (Fading Images)
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=681879 (When Angels Learn to Fly)