#1
Am I ok?
Am I ok now?
Am I ok?
Am I ok now?

Im just confused
paranoid
ugly and broken
Pissed
a slut
lovlelss and chokeing

Am I ok?
Am I ok Now?
Am I ok?
Am I ok now?

will I ever trust again?
will I ever live again?
will I lose my last freind
will I be ok again?

Am I ok?
Am I ok Now?
Am I ok?
Am I ok Now?

Im just a *****
Depressed
stupid and lonely
useless
A ****er
cold and showing

AM I OK???
DO I LOOK IT TO YOU?
AM I OK???
DO I LOOK IT TO YOU?

Im just annoyed
angry
fake and a lier
stoned
a mess
a naked desire

Am I ok?
Am I ok now?
Who is the Dumbfuck to think of this signature??
#4
Apparently not. I would suggest less mindless self-pity and more creativity. If this was meant to be a punk / emo song then it's perfect, but even then it's a little bit too self-aware.

Think of writing lyrics as writing poetry. The two are very much alike. Anyone can write "I'm stupid and depressed", but it takes a certain amount of imagination to write a three minute song about those feelings without ever relying on the words "stupid" and "depressed".

Good luck.
#6
It's actually quite heavy, in a non-screamo way..... Because screamo sucks
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#7
I think it's to straight forward, not entertaining for the reader, or at least not for meXD. Try turning emotions into something someone would want to read. No one wants to hear someone bitch, that's annoying:/ not that you are, but it's straightforward like it.
#8
yeah... I guess your right

But the insturmentals are fun.. Its a good 2:30- 3 mins untill the lyrics break in


This is about as Emo as my lyrics get, I dont usually do this
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