#1
Can all musicians and drummers join me on stage?

In a house is a band practising: 3 drummers and a violin.
Suddenly a neighbour comes and asks if they can play a little softer.
So the drummers say: yes, hey you violin guy. Get the hell out of here.

Yes, they are not funny. But those jokes are made by my bassteacher + I am Dutch
#2
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".
#3
im a fkin drummer so if yous want a fkin go ill kick both yr fkin arses and break your fingers so you'll never twang again..

just joking we r a bunch of fik basturts. shucks.
Ibanez s270/Gibson Les Paul Studio/Fender USA strat/Cashmira81 Classical/Simon&Patrick Acoustic
Peavey 6505 /Marshall DSL50
Marshall 1960b cab
EHX Big Muff USA/Holy Grail/ Boss GE10/ Crybaby
Ibanez sr505 bass & Torque 100w bass amp
#4
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


lol
#5
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".



Made a little bit of wee come out there.
#6
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


i dont get it...
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#7
Quote by zzany1
im a fkin drummer so if yous want a fkin go ill kick both yr fkin arses and break your fingers so you'll never twang again..

just joking we r a bunch of fik basturts. shucks.

your grasp of english reinforces your last statement.
OMG!!! They're playing One!!!!!11fade to black11one11

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#8
Quote by mcw00t
your grasp of english reinforces your last statement.


Agreed.
Currently attempting to learn: The Dissentience by Protest The Hero in it's entirety.
#9
Quote by Metalcredge
Agreed.


sorry try to dumb myself down for all the comprehensive school kids here and the irish.
Ibanez s270/Gibson Les Paul Studio/Fender USA strat/Cashmira81 Classical/Simon&Patrick Acoustic
Peavey 6505 /Marshall DSL50
Marshall 1960b cab
EHX Big Muff USA/Holy Grail/ Boss GE10/ Crybaby
Ibanez sr505 bass & Torque 100w bass amp
#10
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".

#11
Quote by zzany1
im a fkin drummer so if yous want a fkin go ill kick both yr fkin arses and break your fingers so you'll never twang again..

just joking we r a bunch of fik basturts. shucks.


anybody got a translation yet?
#12
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


My ****ing sides hurt

Thank you so much. You've reinstated my faith in how funny some UG-ers can be.

Two ****ing thumbs up!
Catch me,
heal me,
Lift me back up to the Sun
I choose to live
#13
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


i seriously dont get it...can someone explain it...
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#14
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


haha

That's worth sigging
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That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


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Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



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#15
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


Wow. that's the best joke i've heard in a while. The worst part about it is...i can't be shared with me friends.
#16
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?


5, 1 to do it and 4 to say how neil peart could have done it better.
#17
Quote by Taylz24
i seriously dont get it...can someone explain it...


It's a search bar joke. Consider it a good thing that you don't get it.


Quote by TooFast
haha

That's worth sigging


Go on then.
#18
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".

haha

Well played.
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If you cut down on these costs students won't learn so well, effecting the "quality"...
#19
How can you tell a drummer is at the door?

the knocking speeds up.
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"If you don't crap your pants within five minutes of consumption you get a free warm soda!"
#20
Quote by zzany1
sorry try to dumb myself down for all the comprehensive school kids here and the irish.



The Irish part got me.
Quote by pist off
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?


5, 1 to do it and 4 to say how neil peart could have done it better.

These jokes are so ****ing lame.

It clearly says it takes ONE of them to actually screw it in, so no, not 5. ****.
#21
There once was a retarded drummer on the UG forum :


Quote by zzany1
im a fkin drummer so if yous want a fkin go ill kick both yr fkin arses and break your fingers so you'll never twang again..

just joking we r a bunch of fik basturts. shucks.
Quote by Tyson2011
d von is truly one of the pit.


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Good God Man What's Wrong With You!?
#24
What's the best way to get away with parking in the disabled space?

Leave some drumsticks on the dashboard.
#25
Quote by filthandfury
What's the best way to get away with parking in the disabled space?

Leave some drumsticks on the dashboard.


#26
what the difference between a drum machine and a drummer.... you only need to punch the beat in once with the drum machine!

Three musicians and a drummer walk into a bar......


What did the drummer say before he got kicked out of the band.... "hey guys i made up a new song!"


Thats the only one i know.
#27
^ theres 3...
SX Ursa 2
G&L Tribute L-2500
Ibanez ATK700 (all but sold)
Ashdown Elec. Blue 180 (need something else...)

-Bass Militia- \m/
#28
Quote by filthandfury
What's the best way to get away with parking in the disabled space?

Leave some drumsticks on the dashboard.

haha
#29
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".


#31
Quote by Malakian88
There was this drummer, and he started jamming with his new band for the first time. He brought his stick down on the snare, but there was no sound. He tried again. Nothing happened. They all had a look but could find nothing wrong with the drumstick or the drum.

Until the guitarist finally realised. "That's not a drumstick, it's a search bar!".

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