#1
Well... post 'em.


1. Lately I have been getting some amusement out of while showering, using my comb to carve various things into bars of soap. Things written include swastikas and words such as 'penis', 'n*gga' and things like that. If my Mum saw she may be quite confused, but I find it rather entertaining.

2. A few years ago I looked at my fruit bowl, and for some reason one apple was out of the bowl and sitting next to it. At the time something set me off and I was in hysterics for around 5 minutes. Whenever I see such a sight it reminds me of that and I laugh.


Anyone else got some good ones?
#2
I laugh my ass off every time i run over an animal. That didn't go over ery well with my girlfriend when i ran over a cat with her in the car. Lol. I like pissing people off anf irritating them too. Only some people, like me mom and me girl and stuff.
#4
Quote by kidsilcon
You're quite strange because that is just weird (the second one).



Lol. you have no idea mate. I only put up the ones that i wouldn't get banned for.

OH! And what about nutchecking???? Isn't that great?!?!
#5
My girlfriend finds it funny if I shake my penis
When altitude dropping, my ears started popping. One more red nightmare...
#6
Quote by rednightmare
My girlfriend finds it funny if I shake my penis

do we really need to know that lol
#7
Quote by erifxneef
Lol. you have no idea mate. I only put up the ones that i wouldn't get banned for.

OH! And what about nutchecking???? Isn't that great?!?!


You need serious help. A Cat?? That is freaking awful you suck.
#8
I was laughing hysterically at a fire exit sign, this exact one, actually:
I was waiting for my girlfriend while she was in the bathroom at Wal-Mart and I noticed it, and I was gasping for air by the time she came out. I just thought the illustration of the guy running was hysterical. Every time I see it now, I laugh uncontrollably, I just keep imagining him going "Oh sh*t! I gotta get out of here!" And thinking "Well, duh, those flames are right on your ass, man." I don't know how to explain it, it's just such a funny thing to me.
When crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope...
#9
Quote by Allnightmask22
I was laughing hysterically at a fire exit sign, this exact one, actually:
I was waiting for my girlfriend while she was in the bathroom at Wal-Mart and I noticed it, and I was gasping for air by the time she came out. I just thought the illustration of the guy running was hysterical. Every time I see it now, I laugh uncontrollably, I just keep imagining him going "Oh sh*t! I gotta get out of here!" And thinking "Well, duh, those flames are right on your ass, man." I don't know how to explain it, it's just such a funny thing to me.


****ing hilarious man! That's well funny.
When altitude dropping, my ears started popping. One more red nightmare...
#10
Quote by megapenguin
do we really need to know that lol


Sorry I was just reminded of the fact by him saying about nutchecking.
When altitude dropping, my ears started popping. One more red nightmare...
#11
Quote by hoowahman
You need serious help. A Cat?? That is freaking awful you suck.



lol

Sensitive guys...tsk. It's not like I laugh hysterically when i do it. I just kinda giggle on the inside.

#12
hahaha someone told me this story about how he took out a whole family of racoons while driving once, and he stopped and looked under the car and they were stuck under and there was bloodon it, and i just started laughing like crazy, it was one of the funniest things i've heard ina long time...besides that if i go to my friends house we'll just be sitting there, and like, not talkign, just like ...i can't describe it, but then we'll start laughing for like 10 minutes, and i guarantee ya, nobody else would think its funny... we were drinking pop with our elbos togetherand hands up by our face, but our fingertips were facing outwards and we were just holding the cans by the end with the tips of our thumb and for fingerand pressed up against the theback part of your band where the flesh going form your forfinger and thumb is...really effing hard to describe, but it was priceless, quite entertaining
#16
Quote by nolanxxx
high five! (because im assuming your joking)


I'm not fucking joking man.
#17
huh, that's a little wierd, kinda wierd that you think its funny *pondering look*
#18
Quote by nolanxxx
huh, that's a little wierd, kinda wierd that you think its funny *pondering look*

hes joking you fuck.
#19
Quote by nolanxxx
hahaha someone told me this story about how he took out a whole family of racoons while driving once, and he stopped and looked under the car and they were stuck under and there was bloodon it, and i just started laughing like crazy, it was one of the funniest things i've heard ina long time...besides that if i go to my friends house we'll just be sitting there, and like, not talkign, just like ...i can't describe it, but then we'll start laughing for like 10 minutes, and i guarantee ya, nobody else would think its funny... we were drinking pop with our elbos togetherand hands up by our face, but our fingertips were facing outwards and we were just holding the cans by the end with the tips of our thumb and for fingerand pressed up against the theback part of your band where the flesh going form your forfinger and thumb is...really effing hard to describe, but it was priceless, quite entertaining


lol.

and the day i stop laughing at farts is the day i kill myself.
#21
Quote by maggot4life
i look in the mirror...and point and laugh :S



"HEY LOOK AT THAT LOSER LOL! ...Wait a second...*ponders for a few minutes* THAT'S ME! "
#22
me and my friend aaron making stupid puns that no one else gets, and then reacting to them by making loud noises like "DOOOOOYYYYY" and so on and pulling stupid faces at the same time. No one understands, but it's so stupid and nonsensical that it usually gets a laugh out of most people.
My stuff:

ESP EX-50
SX Telecaster Replica
Jade 75 watt amp
15 Watt Mega-amp, lol.
Jim Dunlop Crybaby
Digitech RP50
#23
Quote by erifxneef
I laugh my ass off every time i run over an animal. That didn't go over ery well with my girlfriend when i ran over a cat with her in the car. Lol. I like pissing people off anf irritating them too. Only some people, like me mom and me girl and stuff.


thats not even the slightest bit funny at all, to anyone except yourself.
#24
Quote by evan7654321
hes joking you fuck.


No, I already told you, I wasn't fucking joking.

I have sex with dead people and it's hilarious.

Anybody got a problem with that?
#25
Quote by meh...
thats not even the slightest bit funny at all, to anyone except yourself.

Well put.
#27
Quote by Malakian88
No, I already told you, I wasn't fucking joking.

I have sex with dead people and it's hilarious.

Anybody got a problem with that?


thats just sick man

but it is your life...
Empty Space
#28
Quote by Malakian88
No, I already told you, I wasn't fucking joking.

I have sex with dead people and it's hilarious.

Anybody got a problem with that?



haha, someone cant get live, warm pussy, so basically youve become a rapist.
#29
Whenever my friends are talking about a random subject i always know how to grose them out.. Then i blur out all kind of medical facts (most of them fake or made up just to grose them out)

I allways talk really normal like its just another conversation about cars.. Then they tell me to shush.

I think its pretty amusing.
Quote by Tyson2011
d von is truly one of the pit.


Quote by 09phillt
Good God Man What's Wrong With You!?
#30
Some of my classes jokes are funny but no one else seems to fink so. for example...
whats worse than finding a worm in your apple


Cancer

i know it might not seem funny but when said in a straightforward tone its hilarious. plus you don't expect. (o and i don't find cancer funny so don't flame me. it's just that its unexpected and frank)

o and i also called out my friends name orgasmically when my gf was touchin me down below. i just did it to freak her out. tis fun
#31
when i am sitting in my room playing guitar and hear my roomate coming i whip it out and intentionally get caught masterbating...i Fing love it
#32
Quote by meh...
haha, someone cant get live, warm pussy, so basically youve become a rapist.


Correction: A necrorapist.
#33
Quote by Malakian88
I have sex with dead people.

I thought I was the only one.
Quote by Yakult
If I get a boner I generally pass out due to the massive amount of blood having to be redirected from my brain


Quote by DubStar92
I like to video record myself when I'm drunk. It's like a mini-movie. I love fapping to the sex scene.