#1
Ok, just to start you off with a little background info, I live in a small town in Canada. Now your thinking 'yeah, yeah...small town in Canada, probably like 4-10 people' well my UG visiting friend are right. There is really no one here and nothing to do. Until tonight there really has been nothing to do in this town for about a month. Ok so this is the plot of the story. We hear of this party at some girls house and its way off in no mans land. Like the kind of town were you could drive 20min and not even see the next house (strangely that became our case later on that night).

The night started with my bass playing friend Dan and I talking at school about going up to this girls house because half of our school was going. Later that night I talked to Chris, who is C-ris15 on UG (the only other person i know in real life that goes on this site) and he wants to come over to Dan's to chill with us, so that was cool because he's a good guy and all. So we are all at Dan's and watching some random stuff on youtube and 4chan-ing it up, when Dan's older brother comes down and says lets go for a drive. While in the car we go over to the local ice hockey arena where its a huge grade 9 (freshmen for you Americans) fest. We get out of the car and walk around only to find that all the kids are skids trying to mooch smokes and such. Most of them seem to be the kind of kids who would try the whole Icy Hot experiment, thus we leave that place. We head back into the main part of our town and on that way we (Chris and I) that we have to find somewhere to get dropped off because Dan and his brother are going into a bigger city to go to some clubs. Puzzled and mad we get dropped in the middle of the town near the fitness center. Seconds after the drop off we see Scott who drives a Utility Van (the pedo-van). With him are a few people and they come flying around the corner. About 4-5 people get out of the van and head into the gym to get some guy out. Turns out some guy owed them money and they decided to beat him up. As Chis and I stand there in shock we begin to talk to Scott who works with me. We tell him of the party and he agrees to drive us. After to talk to some other people we saw working out in the gym we press on up to 'no-man's land'.

The ride up was long and annoying. Firstly we kinda had no idea where the party was. Back at Dan's we had searched it on the computer but we had forgotten the name of the street and where it was. That would have helped the 45 minuets we spent on a dark road looking for any sign of the street. Secondly, it turns out people who live in remote locations know nothing about anywhere but where they are. We stop at a few local coffee shops and a McDonald but none of them have any maps that are even close to showing where we are. Also none of them have any knowledge of what street is what and where we need to go. We continue on aimlessly on back roads and through small town but no luck. I grab Scots cell phone but it turns off in the middle of my call to the operator, turns out he forgot to charge it while he was at school. So great we are without a cellphone in the middle of nowhere. Now all we need is the car to break down for a perfect night. Well guess what....IT DOES!. WE WERE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. The middle of the road is the best description I could give of where we stopped because thats one, all I could see, and two, the only man-made thing (other then the pedo-van and everything in it) that we could see. Waiting for someone to drive past we wait outside the van. Keep in mind the weather was kinda getting poor and it began to rain. So we are standing outside of the van when Scot tells us he left the keys inside the van and he locked the doors. (this is kinda like a perfect storm but without the rain and tidal waves, and our boat is the pedo-van). So we wait outside the van and hope a car or something comes by. Keep in mind that it is dark now and its incredibly hard to see anything. Thankfully we see a truck come down the road. This is no ordinary truck, this thing had pigs in the back of it. We manage to stop the guy driving it and he gives us a ride into town and to a pay phone. We get out front of a coffee shop (i have no idea why there are so many of them) and we forgot all of our money back in the van. We go inside and start asking people for a ride back to our town. Finally this trucker is generous to give us a lift and we hop in the truck. Long and behold this guy turns out to be related to me. Little did I know that it was my mothers step-brother.

and thats my story. you pit monkeys don't get a good conclusion... maybe finish it yourself or something


-Ethan
#2
well that was anti-climatic
Quote by Stephen Colbert
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#3
EPIC... and strange because thats the exact same things that happened to me tonight... holy ****
#4
Next time you tell it...the trucker's a chick, and you get laid.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#5
Quote by Gunpowder
Next time you tell it...the trucker's a chick, and you get laid.
or at least add a tranny in there somewhere...
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#8
That's really weird, I met my step-sister's son in a VERY similar situation recently. Maybe it was a different small Canada town.
Quote by 6079 Smith W
One time I had this chick setting on my lap, sucking on my neck, unbuttoning my pants when one of my friends walked in and ruined the whole thing. To be fair though, she was his girlfriend.

Shoopin' that whoop since before you were born, son.
#9
Quote by Grimcity
there is more to the story if you would like me to add it

Does it involve you getting laid by a tranny? If not, I'm not gonna read it.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#10
Quote by Grimcity
there is more to the story if you would like me to add it
please

especially if includes a tranny
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#11
i think im allergic to text walls.
But i read it anyway because im am very very bored
#13
You have the same name as me. I also live in a small canadian town. Actually I live on a farm, but whatever. Anyways yeah, story was a bit anti climatic. Throw a murderous raven or a creepy guy with a hook for a hand in there, spice it up a bit.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "if I live I will kill you."
"If I die, you are forgiven."
Such is the rule of honour.
#14
Quote by Captian Xero
So you didn't get to party?


Maybe he did but it turned out to be a tranny party


We don't care if you make stuff up. We just want to be entertained.

ENTERTAIN US!!! please
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#15
Omg locking yourselves out? That was a great story, but who locks themselves out of the van?

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jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


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Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

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It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#17
Quote by Gunpowder
Maybe he did but it turned out to be a tranny party


We don't care if you make stuff up. We just want to be entertained.

ENTERTAIN US!!! please
now see that's the kind of story i can get into
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#19
Chapter 2:
ok so I come back home and tell the world of UG my story, and am pretty impressed about my ability to re-account all of the event that took place. Now, as strange as this may seem Chris just phoned me and has told me that Rage Against is not very fond its anti-climatic ending and wants a 'tranny' in it... so being the nice guy i am and a fellow Colbert fan, i shall pleasure him in my gift of words.

Ok so while at the truck stop getting help from a random trucker, I am kiddnapped by 2 girls who smelled of motor oil and cheep cologne. Not having any choice I get pulled into the janitors closet where i am tied up and used as a sex slave. Those 2 questionable girls must have been dudes because it was only then that i was able to break free and give them a swift kick in the pants. Sending them upwards almost as if they were folded in half, i brought down the furry of the forehead slamming them into what appeared to be a fire extinguisher. Due to the damage in the fire extinguisher the closet began to fill with the foam stuff thats in them. I break down the door only to find that all of my friends are waiting for me in the truck. I bolt out the door, but as running steal an order of pancakes and bacon from a passing waitress. (from here continue on the ending)
#20
i can make up some stories if you want... just give me a list of things that can happen and ill do my best to make it UG worthy
#21
^
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#24
Quote by Grimcity
i can make up some stories if you want... just give me a list of things that can happen and ill do my best to make it UG worthy


A good story should have one or all of the following elements:

  • Boobs
  • Odin
  • Dragonforce
  • Poker
  • The Muffin Man
  • Maple Syrup
  • Scotch Tape
  • Pirates
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#25
Gunpowder, i will have a story with those things in it for tomorrow night
#26
tl;dr
Guitar Related Products
Schecter Omen-6
Digitech Grunge Distortion Pedal
Peavey Rage-158 15w Amp

Member of Kurt Cobain>shredding club P.M. eldanny to join.
#27
Quote by RageAgainst...
well that was anti-climatic

I think you mean 'anti-climactic', unless you were referring to the bad weather in the story.
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Kill your friend, kill your friend's girlfriend, then kill the person she's cheating on him with. Then rape all three of them, then kill yourself, then rape yourself.

Member of the "I watched The cptncacklefanny Soap Opera" club
#30
how do you not know your uncle, or seen pictures or any of that!?
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#31
Quote by Gunpowder
Next time you tell it...the trucker's a chick, and you get laid.

A female trucker? that is disgusting.
#32
Quote by Grimcity
i can make up some stories if you want... just give me a list of things that can happen and ill do my best to make it UG worthy

Tell us how many of those pigs in the truck you made squeal.
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.