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#1
WHAT THE HELL

i hate self harming i think its jsut plain stupid and idiotic why cut yourself? when i get angry i punch my door or listen to heavy metal or something, just found out today my girlfreidn self harmed either last night or this morning, and i kind of sent a text saying **** you but yeah what can i do? anyone else experianced self harming? from relative or love one?


by the way she isn't 'emo' she doesnt do it to fit it if she did i wouldnt go out with her
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#2
Saying **** you probably doesn't help the matter.
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#3
its probably just how different people react, do you know whats on her mind?
#4
Quote by <CJ>
Saying **** you probably doesn't help the matter.

+1

Tell her to grow a pair.
#5
usualy people who cut them selves want to get some atention.

just talk with her and give her some love.
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#6
what else can i do though this is my second girlfriend ina row do it and it makes me feel like ****
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#9
the worse thing is she done it over an arguement with her parents come on what a stupid reason
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#10
Just give her substitutes, whatever happened to drugs??? Are 'drugs' not 'in' anymore???
Last edited by PolyRythem at Oct 20, 2007,
#12
mine does it too (did it too)
*subscrives to thread*

I just told her its dumb and it doesn't solve anything. after a hile she realised I was right and she stopped doing it. Just talk about it and try to help her solve the problems behind it


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#13
I had a girlfriend that did that for months just tell her if she does it your going to break up with her and dont be pussy whipped and not follow through with your words
Quote by SkyValley
Kids keep having sex younger and younger these days. Eventually kids will be born without their virginity and their first words will be "bow chicka bow wow."
#15
Quote by punk_metal2007
I had a girlfriend that did that for months just tell her if she does it your going to break up with her and dont be pussy whipped and not follow through with your words

breaking up with her for inability to cope with issues, awesome!
#16
Dude, reacting in that negative, malicious manner will only further worsen her situation.

You need to get to the root of the problem. Ask her why she does it and what feeling it gives her that persuades her to repeat the process. What influences her, if anything, do release her stress and anxiety in that manner and how did she start.

Be there for her and try to recommend some other methods of dealing with her problems. You may not think you can make a difference but you most certainly can as you'll probably be the main person she will actually listen to.

If this was only meant to be a fling, you have ventured into unknown and uncharted territory which you will not be able to escape because you need to attend to the problem rationally because it can kill her. From personal experience, i advise you, don't abandon her or run her down because it only get worse as you will be giving her more incentive to continue.

Do something about it, take positive action.
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#17
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
WHAT THE HELL.

I hate self harming. I think its just plain stupid and idiotic. Why cut yourself? When I get angry, I punch my door, listen to heavy metal or something. I just found out today my girlfriend self harmed either last night or this morning, and I kind of sent a text saying **** you, but yeah, what can i do? Anyone else experienced self harming? From a relative or love one?


By the way, she isn't 'emo'. She doesnt do it to fit in, if she did I wouldnt go out with her.


Fixed.


But anyways, you shouldn't have sent a text saying "fuck you". What you should have done is tried to be there to support her, and top find out WHY she "self harmed", instead of trying to make things worse by her having to feel that what she is doing is making you angry. You should approach the situation in a calm and level-headed manner, and try to sort things out. Getting mad doesn't help. Whether or not you "hate" self harming, you should learn to accept that people do it for reasons. So, you should try to find out WHY she did it. Plain and simple. BUT. Don't try to find out in an arrogant way by demanding her to tell you. You should make her feel comfortable and let her know that you are there as a support person.


Yeah, that's my solution. AND yes i have dealt with a friend who "self harmed". It was hard for me to comprehend, but we worked through it.
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#18
You do realise that punching walls is also a form of self harm if you hurt yourself while doing it???

You really handled that situation well didn't you? You insensitive wanker. She's your girlfriend for ****'s sake!!! She's obviously going through some hard times so instead of saying "**** you" try doing something to help.
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#19
im not going to break up with her as i love her and that it jsut makes me so god dman pissed
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#21
god ure a douche. u say f*ck you to ya gal? u stupid!!! STUPID I TELLS YA!
#22
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
the worse thing is she done it over an arguement with her parents come on what a stupid reason

Not really... And if you feel like **** from it thats pretty selfish, but if it makes you feel better then it was her parents that made her do it

Talk to her about it, ask if you can do anything to help, ask her to stop it as it upsets you, and show her some affection.
#23
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
im not going to break up with her as i love her and that it jsut makes me so god dman pissed

how old are you?
Quote by SkyValley
Kids keep having sex younger and younger these days. Eventually kids will be born without their virginity and their first words will be "bow chicka bow wow."
#24
you should dump her. so she can find a guy that'll actually do her good.
Grammar and spelling omitted as an exercise for the reader.
#26
Yeah, punching things is self harm too.
I suffered from depression for 5 or 6 years now and I been told everything from grow a pair and you do that and you just end up breaking down no matter how long you keep it up.
In some way you need something to take your mind off it and keep yourself clean.
So I say the best thing is take her out alot and just pay alot more attention to her.
It isn't always for attention, she could hate herself or hate something about her life.
Tell her to tell you when she feels this way. Trust me, you telling her to **** off or whatever is probably gonna make her want to do it again.
Your her bf, she needs to know you care and you need to understand.
Just like people who say grow a pair or something, you don't need that attitude.
Them people don't understand just how it affects people who suffer from depression, self harm and etc. Them people need to stop acting so tough.
You need someone there for you. Thats the best advice anyway, I helped alot of people giving them advice.
Hell, if theres anything I can do then just send me a message. Be glad to help. Or even just talk to her for 5 minutes, any advice helps.
#27
Quote by punk_metal2007
how old are you?

Lol he's 15.

I doubt you "love" her dude. Seriously, if you did love her then you probably wouldn't be worried for her and get pissed off for yourself and say "**** you" in a text.


But yeah take my advice up there ^^^
#28
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
im 15

you dont know what love is yet
Quote by SkyValley
Kids keep having sex younger and younger these days. Eventually kids will be born without their virginity and their first words will be "bow chicka bow wow."
#30
Quote by Aqua Dementia
Then STFU. You don't know anything about anything.


Die pls.

your annoying so you die
Quote by SkyValley
Kids keep having sex younger and younger these days. Eventually kids will be born without their virginity and their first words will be "bow chicka bow wow."
#31
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
WHAT THE HELL

i hate self harming i think its jsut plain stupid and idiotic why cut yourself? when i get angry i punch my door or listen to heavy metal or something, just found out today my girlfreidn self harmed either last night or this morning, and i kind of sent a text saying **** you but yeah what can i do? anyone else experianced self harming? from relative or love one?


by the way she isn't 'emo' she doesnt do it to fit it if she did i wouldnt go out with her


First of all. Don't be a stupid **** and tell her "**** you". Honestly, what is that helping? Punching your door is just as bad, really. That's defiantly not doing better than her, Spanky.

Secondly. Did ya ever think of actually finding out what's going on with her and constructively helping her?

Try actually showing some care, Clarabelle.
#32
ok then go on define what love is?

want to be with her everyday? always think about her? do things you wouldnt normally do for her? sacrifice most of ur hobbys and time with your friend


everyone says that but think romeo and juliet were 15
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#33
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
ok then go on define what love is?

want to be with her everyday? always think about her? do things you wouldnt normally do for her? sacrifice most of ur hobbys and time with your friend


everyone says that but think romeo and juliet were 15

#34
Quote by punk_metal2007
your annoying so you die



No, you were born in '91, you die first. You already missed out on some cool stuff.

Do it.
#35
Quote by kman123
god ure a douche. u say f*ck you to ya gal? u stupid!!! STUPID I TELLS YA!

irony
#36
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
ok then go on define what love is?

want to be with her everyday? always think about her? do things you wouldnt normally do for her? sacrifice most of ur hobbys and time with your friend


everyone says that but think romeo and juliet were 15

romeo and juliet is a story and you cant define love but I know age 15 isnt nowhere in it
Quote by SkyValley
Kids keep having sex younger and younger these days. Eventually kids will be born without their virginity and their first words will be "bow chicka bow wow."
#37
Quote by ChazBcWarlock
ok then go on define what love is?

want to be with her everyday? always think about her? do things you wouldnt normally do for her? sacrifice most of ur hobbys and time with your friend


everyone says that but think romeo and juliet were 15


That was a book you idiot.
#38
Firstly, you've already admitted to self harming yourself.

"when i get angry i punch my door"

Christ, i'd rather cut myself and have a cut that seals up within an hour or so than punch my wall and risk damaging my hand which could mean i can't play guitar for a while.

Secondly, just be there for her. But you can't stop her from doing it in the end, its up to her if she want to stop.

edit: and to the romeo and juliet were 15 comment, it was what, the middle ages when it was written? The life expectancy was something like half it was now probably... You could go through a mid life crisis at the age of 15!
Last edited by StonaLemons at Oct 20, 2007,
#39
You know Romeo and Juliet is fiction right?

*edit* Damn, was beaten to it. It doesn't matter if it pisses you off, as said before talk to her, make her feel comfortable. Don't threaten to break up with her or anything like that, talk it through with her. And if you are really really worried talk to her parents about it.
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#40
Tell her that if she keeps doing it, you'll do it too.
That'll make her stop if she loves you.
+ to Aqua Dementia, just leave now.
Jono
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