#1
In all my other song people say the meaning is too obvious, so i chucked in a few similies and metaphors, still obvious but different. please give constructive criticism (or completely just lay it out for me) it took some rearanging n stuff but here goes.-

LOVE LASTS
Love is a leap over a canyon,
Which I never seem to make.
Love is dodging a bullet,
But the wall is covered in my brains.

No surgeon for heartache,
No cure for scars within.
Pain is loves identical twin.
Love is walking on ice too thin.

Indecision, years have past, my wait for your love, nears extremity.
Pathetic excuses contrast, against the... hatred and agony

They say love lasts,
(Even when its not there)
A shadow cast…
A reminiscence of our past.

They say love lasts,
(Even when its not there)
The ache doesn’t fade away…
But buries its roots deep beneath your skin!

They say love lasts,
(Even when its not there)
A shadow cast…
Of the beauty that was… us.

crit4crit. k thanks.
marajuana rules almost as much as bfmv
Last edited by Pools_of_pain at Oct 21, 2007,
#3
Oh rite sorry ill get that changed straight away..
marajuana rules almost as much as bfmv
Last edited by Pools_of_pain at Oct 21, 2007,
#4
I hope I don't get in trouble for this.

In thread titles you are only supposed to have the song name - in your case 'Love Lasts'. If applicable you can also put a genre, or whether the piece is finished. eg

Love Lasts [Soft Rock] [Unfinished]

Etc.

edit: i should probably report this too, in case i get done for trying to help.

*reported*
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.