#1
Good morning class
Today i shall demonstrate how to disarm a grenade,
using the fine art of charades.
"

"

And that is how to disarm a grenade.
Class dismissed.
The next day these pupils got sent out to war
to iraq, to afghanistan, those poor,
poor souls.
They're all dead.
War is Dramatic
Traumatic
Sometimes even Emphatic.
But never to be poked fun at.


Yeah, its a bit random
Last edited by tanglewoodguit at Oct 23, 2007,
#2
How are you gonna make a song outta that? I think the first part (before quotation marks) should be the intro, then have the sound of someone disarming a grenade, then have the song. So you need some verses and music to go in there. The have the last bit of what you had written (after the quotation marks) as the outro, with a bit of quiet music behind it. Then finish it with the sound of a grenade exploding.

Hmm, you might need to wait until you have a successful band with a few albums out before you can afford all those different sound effects
#3
Yeah it seems like more of a poem than a song; it looks difficult to put music to. But if you have, well done.
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#5
As a poem, it works really well, but you shouldn't have put it under SONGWRITING and LYRICS if that isn't what it is...
#7
Yeah poems are perfectly acceptable in here you buffoon.

Anyway, it's certainly different, and I like different. It's difficult to make a rhythm out of the words, which is positive to me. The words you use are imaginative, and make the poem work really well. I can see a deeper meaning in it.

I like it
#8
Quote by wiggyisgreat
Yeah poems are perfectly acceptable in here you buffoon.


Sorry, I've never seen a poem in here before...I apologise, like I said before it is a good poem.
#9
I liked it, thought it flowed well, and covered some good themes, was accessible!

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