This is the first set of lyrics I've posted here. Hoping to get some constructive criticism. The song is called Afraid To Lose and it deals with the subject of panic or getting panic attacks.

I'm certain that a shot straight to the brain
From a pistol would kill a man
But this overdose of confusion will
ake me lose what's dearest to me

Afraid to lose my sanity
All over again
Letting the fear beat me this time
Will cost me everything

I think I'm dying or am I crazy
I think I'm just losing control
My mind is screaming, it's overwhelming
I've got to get out of this place

The fear of this is tearing me up
Right now I've got to run


A rush of dismay, a stampede of terror
It's more than I can take
Much more than I can take
The hysteria, the agitation
It's more than I can take
Much more that I can take


...and there you have it. Oh, and just for your information (don't know if this really matters or not) but my band plays a style that's influenced by bands like Seether, Shinedown, and Revis.

Thanks in advance for any help I can get from you guys/gals.
i like the last verse of the song alot but the rest seemed to be a little forced but its not anything that cant be worked on and fixed to sound and look better...just a little more work and you might have something. some of your lines (especially the first verse) seemed a little forced in my opinion but i think you can make something of it.

if you get the chance take a look at my songs
My Songs:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=683805 (Haunted Memories)
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=683809 (Fading Images)
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=681879 (when Angels Learn to Fly)