#1
A few months ago i stumbled across a GIGANTIC encyclopedia-type sitel on how to kill yourself. I found it pretty amusing, but now I cant seem to find it.

Its some website with tons of info on how to successfully end you own life. Anyone know what document Im talking about or where to find it?
:stickpoke

Baby, if I were biscuits and you were gravy, I'd sop you up

FIGHT IGNORANCE

"I fear for my flesh, but I fear for my spirit even more..."
#2
No idea, but do let us know when you rediscover it. Sounds entertaining.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#3
Um... why do you want to find it?
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#4
...A Xanga profile?
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#5
Quote by ShredtoBed
I found it pretty amusing,

That's why.

SHEdit: directed to Kensai, sorry

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#6
It does sound pretty amusing, but I'm surprised that a site like that is allowed to exist...
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#7
sounds like a good read

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#9
HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it (a gun that has never been fired works best in this situation). Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic. You'll probably even make it on MythBusters. Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you?


The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#10
lmao i just thought about something... was there any FEEDBACK on whether the stuff worked or not? lol i mean like, "yeah, thanks a lot for the tips. i KNEW it was down the street and not across the road..."
EviLMetaLBoY
#14


'Nuff said.
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#17
"Drown in Your Own Urine

Difficulty level: 8

Get a huge vat or possibly an above ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."

This method would work for any body fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of your own sperm would be truly impressive. You will have to get some viagra and work frantically for years, but what else have you got to do?
Pop into alt.binaries.erotica.bestiality, get the vibrator out and get crackin'. Remember, do something really weird and original, something that will tell them you are/were special."

The bit about leaving a note...
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#18
"Death by Seinfeld

Difficulty level: 9

Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"

wtf, very strange site.
#19
Quote by Dinkydaisy
...A Xanga profile?


. Thank your for the lulz Dinkydaisy.

It seems I'm the only one who got it till now.
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#20
Quote by darkstar2466
. Thank your for the lulz Dinkydaisy.

It seems I'm the only one who got it till now.

Lol, I was wondering if anyone got it
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#21
"Death by Hairball

Difficulty level: 3

Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.

Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep. "


haha
El-Danny

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#22
Haha although the site posted does give epic lulz, not exactly what I was talking about.

Funny as **** though
:stickpoke

Baby, if I were biscuits and you were gravy, I'd sop you up

FIGHT IGNORANCE

"I fear for my flesh, but I fear for my spirit even more..."
#23
Explosives Strapped to Your Body

Difficulty level: 7

Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.

Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.

Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.

Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea smarty pants) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.

Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a very reliable wind-proof lighter.
Torch lighters are best.

Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more explosives you use, the better. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.

Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.

Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life does not make for a good sound bite, something about trees telling you to kill yourself works good. Ask for news cameras from the major networks, so you can warn them of the coming tree invasion. Pace around while waving your arms and pointing a lot. If there are trees around, point at them.

DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.

When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.

Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.

Try to steer yourself towards the people in the crowd who are chanting 'jump, jump, jump'.
That way flaming falling body parts will pelt them when you explode. If you used enough explosives, everyone within seeing distance will have a piece of you.

Congratulations! You've just made history. I bet it feels good just thinking about it. But don't cheer up, there are plenty of other ways to do the deed.

#26
^^ Thats it!

I love these funny sites though
:stickpoke

Baby, if I were biscuits and you were gravy, I'd sop you up

FIGHT IGNORANCE

"I fear for my flesh, but I fear for my spirit even more..."
#27
Quote by belavista man
It does sound pretty amusing, but I'm surprised that a site like that is allowed to exist...


Yea, freedom of speech, it's a drag.

You sound pretty amusing, but I'm surprised that a person like you is allowed to exist.
Why are we so wicked indecisive
Let's hit the streets with toy explosives
And let's enjoy what we have
#28
I love the contact number at the BOTTOM. It adknowledges that some people actually go to the site or help on killing themselves. So after they have tried to kill themselves, (and some could have succeeded) At least there is a place where they could have got help.


#29
Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"
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#30
Quote by dreamtheater91
Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"

What's the deal with...
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The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#31
Quote by ColdNovembeRain
Google "alt suicide holiday"

I stumbled across it once. I think it's what you're talking about.

Wowza that was long...

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#32
Quote by evilmetalboy
lmao i just thought about something... was there any FEEDBACK on whether the stuff worked or not? lol i mean like, "yeah, thanks a lot for the tips. i KNEW it was down the street and not across the road..."


...I think you should take a minute to think about what you just asked.

And very good find, it made me lol repeatedly.