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#1
But not just a regular blood-sucking lawyer: Im going to be a lawyer with values

I shall not accept bribes, but i will dispense them if i have to.

I shall defend only those clients whom I believe to truly be innocent.

I shall defend those who can not afford a lawyer.

I shall provide free defense for "illegal" immigrants

I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.

Anybody else want to become a lawyer, or am I alone?
#4
Im gonna be a history teacher.

Or an English Teacher.

If the whole Musician thing Fails
#5
HA! You've got to be kidding. Get a load of this guy. *sigh*
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#6
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
But not just a regular blood-sucking lawyer: Im going to be a lawyer with values

I shall not accept bribes, but i will dispense them if i have to.

I shall defend only those clients whom I believe to truly be innocent.

I shall defend those who can not afford a lawyer.

I shall provide free defense for "illegal" immigrants

I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.

Anybody else want to become a lawyer, or am I alone?



So what would you do if a pedophile wanted legal council and then he told you he was guilty of raping kids..would you grass on him?
#7
*Waits for the punchline...*

...Unless, of course, "lawyer with values" was the punchline.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#10
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW


I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.

Anybody else want to become a lawyer, or am I alone?



Good luck with that, but your going to fail due to not having any money


#Sage
#11
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
But not just a regular blood-sucking lawyer: Im going to be a lawyer with values
There's nothing wrong with lawyers, they do their jobs, it's not about being a "regular blood-sucking lawyer" people get ****ed in life. Tough ****. It's life, if lawyers assist in the ****ing of said people, well that's just tough, because again, it's life. It doesn't make them less as people. They do it for a living. It's their job. No more stereotyping plx.
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

I shall not accept bribes, but i will dispense them if i have to.
Wow, great values you're upholding there!
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

I shall defend only those clients whom I believe to truly be innocent.
Ever heard of "if you cannot afford a lawyer you will be assigned one"... Yea... **** one, eventually you're gonna have to defend guilty people, especcially if you're working with a firm.
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

I shall defend those who can not afford a lawyer.
You don't really have a choice
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

I shall provide free defense for "illegal" immigrants
Why? Realistically you'll never be able to do that, what with time constraints and the whole "needing money to live" thing...
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.
Great... You gonna sue every other government in the world for taking land hundreds of years ago? Because if not it just sounds like you've a chip on your shoulder.
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW

Anybody else want to become a lawyer, or am I alone?

You don't want to be a lawyer, I don't know what you want to be, but it's certainly not a lawyer.
#13
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
But not just a regular blood-sucking lawyer: Im going to be a lawyer with values


Thank God.
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#14
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
There's nothing wrong with lawyers, they do their jobs, it's not about being a "regular blood-sucking lawyer" people get ****ed in life. Tough ****. It's life, if lawyers assist in the ****ing of said people, well that's just tough, because again, it's life. It doesn't make them less as people. They do it for a living. It's their job. No more stereotyping plx.


What about that lawyer who sued McDonald's because a lady spilled coffee on herself and it didn't have a warning label?

Also, here's a true story to tell about another lawyer:

There was the robber. He broke into this small family owned store twice in a course of a few weeks (I believe). So the family decided to install some kind of electrical current through the windows at night time. Even on the outside of the window it said "Warning: High Voltage." So what does the robber do? He breaks in anyway. He gets a third degree burn and sues the family for putting it there. Stupid, right?

Also, I'm not saying this goes for all lawyers, but many lawyers ARE "blood sucking." We need better lawyers in this country, definately.
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#15
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW


I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.



that's like suing Egypt for having slaves build the pyramids...it's over and done. no one cares. it's like when african americans think they deserve special treatment because their ancestors were slaves...they weren't slaves. the current generation of Native Americans were never raped, pillaged, or plundered. i mean sure, it was wrong of the U.S. to do that but your a 'tad late there buddy...
Member #14 of the "Claudio Sanchez is god" Club.

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#16
by declaring yourself a lawyer with values, you cut your clientele in half. have fun not being able to keep your firm open.
#17
Quote by TheReFiller
What about that lawyer who sued McDonald's because a lady spilled coffee on herself and it didn't have a warning label?

Also, here's a true story to tell about another lawyer:

There was the robber. He broke into this small family owned store twice in a course of a few weeks (I believe). So the family decided to install some kind of electrical current through the windows at night time. Even on the outside of the window it said "Warning: High Voltage." So what does the robber do? He breaks in anyway. He gets a third degree burn and sues the family for putting it there. Stupid, right?

Also, I'm not saying this goes for all lawyers, but many lawyers ARE "blood sucking." We need better lawyers in this country, definately.

Maybe the family should have got a better lawyer? And maybe McDonald's should have seen that some day a fat lady would spill coffee on herself and think ahead and put warning labels on their coffee... It's called life. If you can't deal with it, then don't play.

Besides McDonalds deserve to get sued.
#19
well... awesome...

It's gonna be REALLY hard... but I hope you are successful
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
#20
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
And maybe McDonald's should have seen that some day a fat lady would spill coffee on herself and think ahead and put warning labels on their coffee... It's called life. If you can't deal with it, then don't play.


Yes, but we also need to make the world we live in better in the amount of time we DO live.

And we do NOT need crazy lawyers.
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#21
Quote by TheReFiller
Yes, but we also need to make the world we live in better in the amount of time we DO live.

And we do NOT need crazy lawyers.

Lawyers aren't crazy, the laws they defend people with are.
#23
lawyer with values??

so you wanna be a bad lawyer?


!!!!! WTF totally off topic but i was watching the iron giant and it said the producer was non other then the great

PETE TOWNSEND!!!!!
Quote by DieGarbageMan
i can become erect whilst displeasing women




What a talented person.
#24
If you're just going to be a "lawyer with values" why waste the time and money going through law school when you can just open up a livejournal account and bitch about the system? You'll make the same progress: Absolutely none, you'll accomplish just as much: Absolutely nothing, and you'll make just as much money: Not even enough to pay for "premium membership."
When crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope...
#25
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
Lawyers aren't crazy, the laws they defend people with are.


So you're saying that only laws affect what they say? There is definately a difference between an out-of-his-mind lawyer, and a good lawyer.
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#26
Quote by TheReFiller
What about that lawyer who sued McDonald's because a lady spilled coffee on herself and it didn't have a warning label?

Also, here's a true story to tell about another lawyer:

There was the robber. He broke into this small family owned store twice in a course of a few weeks (I believe). So the family decided to install some kind of electrical current through the windows at night time. Even on the outside of the window it said "Warning: High Voltage." So what does the robber do? He breaks in anyway. He gets a third degree burn and sues the family for putting it there. Stupid, right?

Also, I'm not saying this goes for all lawyers, but many lawyers ARE "blood sucking." We need better lawyers in this country, definately.

yes, the fact that the person approached the lawyer to ask about suing mcdonalds is irrelevant.

lawyers can only act if they have a client and they can only win if the law allows it.

people forget that. the government sets the law, the lawyers seek to apply it to benefit their client, if possible.

if they dont get results, they don't get new clients, they don't get paid. simple as.

And the electrical fence thing will have been because it's too excessive. If a person carries a sign that says 'if you look at me then I will kill you' it does not relieve them from responsibility. Likewise if somebody punches you, then you proceed to stab them, you will still be convicted of murder.

self defence has to be proportionate to the thing you are defending against.
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#27
Quote by rockstar mace
lawyer with values??

so you wanna be a bad lawyer?


!!!!! WTF totally off topic but i was watching the iron giant and it said the producer was non other then the great

PETE TOWNSEND!!!!!


More importantly Vin Diesel voices the giant.
666 BRO
#28
Quote by TheReFiller
So you're saying that only laws affect what they say? There is definately a difference between an out-of-his-mind lawyer, and a good lawyer.

See lemoninfluence's comment, couldn't have said it better myself. It's nothing to do with being "out-of-his-mind" or not, it's about winning the case and keeping his job, and the laws and sometimes lack of laws allow them to do that.
#29
Quote by Kankuro
More importantly Vin Diesel voices the giant.



did you just say vin diesel was more important then pete townsend???

on topic so this isnt exactly spam: All the lawyers that i've seen look like total dicks. So try not to be.
Quote by DieGarbageMan
i can become erect whilst displeasing women




What a talented person.
#30
Quote by Hellhammerz
So what would you do if a pedophile wanted legal council and then he told you he was guilty of raping kids..would you grass on him?

Tell to f*ck off..literally.
#31
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
Tell to f*ck off..literally.

Well, you're not gonna be a lawyer for long are you? You may start seeking a new profession because the lawyer thing... Yea, it's really not gonna work out unless you can defend guilty people.
#32
Well, money's not the reason i want to become a lawyer, its cause i want to help people. Actually help them. Not leech off of their problems.
#33
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW


I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.

yeah. right. that is such crap. for one a lot of the land was bought from the indians. We look back and say they were cheated, but if they thought what they got for the land was worth it, then they weren.t
#35
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
But not just a regular blood-sucking lawyer: Im going to be a lawyer with values

I shall not accept bribes, but i will dispense them if i have to.

I shall defend only those clients whom I believe to truly be innocent.

I shall defend those who can not afford a lawyer.

I shall provide free defense for "illegal" immigrants

I shall sue the U.S. Government (and possibly the British government) for the rape, pillage and plunder of Native Americans, their land and their culture.

Anybody else want to become a lawyer, or am I alone?


You're going to be poor. Doing the right thing is rarely profitable.
Will says:
DON'T FEAR THE REAPER!
- SmarterChild - says:
I don't know if I can help it.

Member #6 of the "I play my guitar as high as Tom Morello does" club
#36
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
See lemoninfluence's comment, couldn't have said it better myself. It's nothing to do with being "out-of-his-mind" or not, it's about winning the case and keeping his job, and the laws and sometimes lack of laws allow them to do that.


But as a lawyer you shouldn't get involved in completely ridiculous lawsuits. A lot of lawyers only think about themselves, and money.

Here's another example of a money-hungry lawyer, I'm sure most of you guys heard it before:

There was this Korean drycleaning place and this guy comes and gets his pants drycleaned. The Koreans misplaced his pants somehow, and the guy decides to sue them. I mean, it's just a poor Korean drycleaning place, family owned I bet. So anyway, the family offered to buy back the pants, but he didn't listen, and sued them for several million dollars.
Quote by SloppyJoseph
It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#37
Trust me, No you wont.
You know how easy it is to say you put in 8 hours in a day on a case instead of 2?
too easy
you know how much money that is for you?
too much.
It's WAY to easy for you to cheat people out of their money
so you wont.
Cancer.
#38
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
Well, you're not gonna be a lawyer for long are you? You may start seeking a new profession because the lawyer thing... Yea, it's really not gonna work out unless you can defend guilty people.

Well, i believe you misunderstood me...I wont defend anyone who openly admist to being guilty. If he out-and-out says "BTW im guilty lol" then ill kick him out of my office. But i have to defend "guilty" people, cause they're accused of something (the whole point of "defending"), If they didnt do it, and i honestly believe they didnt, ill defend them.
#39
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
Well, i believe you misunderstood me...I wont defend anyone who openly admist to being guilty. If he out-and-out says "BTW im guilty lol" then ill kick him out of my office. But i have to defend "guilty" people, cause they're accused of something (the whole point of "defending"), If they didnt do it, and i honestly believe they didnt, ill defend them.

just because you're accused of something doesn't mean you're guilty.
#40
Quote by garrett5
Im gonna be a history teacher.

Or an English Teacher.

If the whole Musician thing Fails

Same here.
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