#1
This is a song I wrote, it's my first complete song, it's not overly long, tell me what you think.


The minutes pass by slower than days,
While anxiety builds up inside of me,
My spirit is long gone, but my body still remains,
As a memory of the person I used to be.

My blood boils hot at the sight of these fiends,
The beasts who’ve caused me to be here,
But then I slowly realize they to are human,
To kill them would kill a part of me.

The dawning dejects me everyday,
With the sunlight it brings fear,
It serves to gesture yet another day,
To continue the fight inside of me.

During sleepless nights, when given a chance to think,
Suicidal thoughts sometimes flood my mind,
But thoughts like these, I quickly banish,
With the images of the ones who matter most to me.

The thought of dying any second used to scare me,
Now I just wait for the time to come,
Leave me both the victor and the defeated,
End my war with myself.

The dawning dejects me everyday,
With the sunlight it brings fear,
It serves to gesture yet another day,
To continue the fight inside of me.
Last edited by Gelato at Oct 24, 2007,
#2
my first song was pathetic, so kudos to you, for this was far from pathetic.

"But then I slowly realize they too are human."

that's really the only thing wrong with it imo. nice work.
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."