#1
Blind Sacrifice
________________________________________
Here's the beginning of a song I'm writing. To give you an idea of the music that's going along with it, it's in drop D, Black Sabbath-esque tempo, G7, C, D chord progression.

Few things consume like passion,
Makes everything fade and wither,
Nothing but blind devotion, fatal passion,
Consuming obsession, inflated attraction.

It deviates from the mind,
Leaves the brain detached and running,
Drags you on an unknown trail,
Are we ever in control?

It’s all that matters, this is my life,
I would trade nothing for this bit of strife,
My head’s spinning faster and faster,
Revolving around the only thing that matters.

Pull me down; drag me under,
anything for what I love.
Take my life, cut it asunder,
anything for love, my friend.

Consume inside a single flame,
Otherwise you will divide.
Choose the one that you will serve,
You’re walking on the razor’s edge.

Tell me again,
How did I become stretched on this device?
This expansion is extending beyond my bounds,
I can feel the bonds ‘bout to break me through,
They’re wearing through, time to break for I’m ‘bout to crack.


crit 4 crit?
#2
I like it. This is my only suggestion: Turn the following into a chorus:
It’s all that matters, this is my life,
I would trade nothing for this bit of strife,
My head’s spinning faster and faster,
Revolving around the only thing that matters.

I really liked those four lines, and they would work well as a chorus me thinks
Quote by uvq
yeah fire him secretly... thats what im doing except im firing myself and secretly joining someone elses band

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If you get a virus by looking at porn, is it considered a sexually-transmitted disease?

Quote by DiveRightIn63
thanks for the compliment man!
#3
Quote by M.B.MetalTabber
I like it. This is my only suggestion: Turn the following into a chorus:
It’s all that matters, this is my life,
I would trade nothing for this bit of strife,
My head’s spinning faster and faster,
Revolving around the only thing that matters.

I really liked those four lines, and they would work well as a chorus me thinks


yeah, that's what I had in mind along with a few other lines, but I wasn't sure.