Page 1 of 3
#1
Some delicious copypasta. I lol'd...

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car."
#2
Heard it a fair number of times but it's amusing.
Quote by Raizer Sabre
this is the biggest pile of crap i've seen since that little bit in jurassic parkwhere you see dino crap everywhere...
#5
Brilliant.
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#7
This is older than time itself, but I still laughed.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#10
hahaha! first time ive ever seen it, but funny anyway
Quote by Nemesis260
police is logical. or do your duty and rape him back

GEAR:
Laney BH150
Marshall B150
Line6 Spider II 15
BOSS HM-2 Heavy Metal (80's!)
Epi SG Special
Peavey Milestone III
#11
I laughed...

did this remind anyone of the "Jeez, you must be very religious....no, I just didn't know your dad was a pharmacist" joke...


you know, the one where the kid goes to buy condoms, and his gf's dad ends up being the pharmacist.
Nikolas
#15
I lol'd hard x)
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#20
Very smart
Yeah, now you're gonna die wearing that stupid little hat. How does it feel?

Help me to live.


I make custom guitar wiring harnesses and I'm pretty damn good at it!
#21
Quote by bearded_monkey
I misread it as "Always keep your condoms in your ear" first time around...

Sigged, thanks
ohai little sig.
#22
i love the "keep your condoms in your car", as if to say, if in his pocket he woulda went up. classic.
#23
Quote by BennyStruggle
i love the "keep your condoms in your car", as if to say, if in his pocket he woulda went up. classic.

thanks for letting the rest of us in on the joke
#24
Never heard it before but very funny.
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
#26
Nice
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#29
Quote by BennyStruggle
i love the "keep your condoms in your car", as if to say, if in his pocket he woulda went up. classic.

Hi Master of the Obvious. Nice to see you around! It has been a while since I saw you.
#30
i woulda ****ed her
Quote by hightension01


Tell her
"I could be playing this *inserts Job For a Cowboys Doom Cd*
but i'd rather play this *inserts *David Crowder followed by Brewster*"

haha yeah that should work


Quote by Aqua Dementia
richrawr FTW!
#32
Quote by BennyStruggle
i love the "keep your condoms in your car", as if to say, if in his pocket he woulda went up. classic.



I laughed harder at this than the story.


...


Quote by buckethead_jr
^And known for that bloody awesome croissant with a crown.
Man that's badass.


MINE SIG R PINK
#35
people get married to people theyve been 'dating' for a year? thats a scary thought.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
#36
That was my first time hearing that. I lol'd at the end.

Quote by rocknrollstar
Whats the pharmacist one?


Good joke btw.


It's really long, but, long story short: This guy is dating a girl who decides she's going to give it up to him. (They're both virgins.) He goes to a pharmacist to get condoms and learns how to properly put them on. So he goes over to the girls house to eat dinner with the family. Before eating, they bow there heads to pray, and the boy keeps his head down low and his eyes shut. The girl leans towards him and says "I never knew you were so religious." The boy replies "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist... "
Last edited by Mudvayne_4_Life at Oct 27, 2007,
#39
Quote by Mudvayne_4_Life
That was my first time hearing that. I lol'd at the end.


It's really long, but, long story short: This guy is dating a girl who decides she's going to give it up to him. (They're both virgins.) He goes to a pharmacist to get condoms and learns how to properly put them on. So he goes over to the girls house to eat dinner with the family. Before eating, they bow there heads to pray, and the boy keeps his head down low and his eyes shut. The girl leans towards him and says "I never knew you were so religious." The boy replies "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist... "



Lmao awesome.
Page 1 of 3