#1
hey...

well, this is a song ive just started, ive gotten the main riff dow, and the intro. and thats about all ive done so far. i want this to turn out to be a melodic kind of progressive song, but we'll see how it turns out when its finished

im also thinkin of trying something a little different in the structure, like having a different riff for the chorus, and use the main riff as a bridge or pre-verse or something....

anyway, c4c



EDIT:
ive posted up the complete version, not finalised or anything yer, but finished

its total length is a bit over 12 and a half minutes

and im yet to add vocals
Attachments:
MelodicProg-ish.zip
Last edited by thecameronator at Nov 6, 2007,
#2
Loving the intro... It kind of sounds like Ulver, which is weird, because I was just listening to them.

Oh, the whole thing was the intro

OK, well both parts of the intro are good. Can't wait to hear what it sounds like when it's finished...
#3
I like the acoustic intro, gives a nice feel but maybe you shouldn't follow the same rythm with the bass.
I like the whole build up idea though.
When the disto comes in, sounds really cool, the riff idea is very good.
Maybe you should try to variate though because it gets a little repetitive.

:O where's the rest of the song xD^^

Well it's a good start, hopefully you'll finish it soon 7.5/10 for now.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=675687
Instrumental Prog too^^
#4
I really liked the ending part, from bar 21 onwards was excellent.
and, being a bassist, I liked how the line wasnt entirely root notes.

Keep up the good work.
#5
Pretty cool intro, though the conflicting root notes take away from the effect of changing root notes. It would sound so much more epic if the bass and second guitar followed the root notes of the first guitar. It also gets a bit repetitive. Other than that, it's a cool start. Keep it up!
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#7
It's excellent :]
I don't know what else to say.
It's a great song.
I think some of the notes in the solo sounded a bit off but other than that, the song Is awesome.
Great work

~Loki <3
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Last edited by The_Bass_Poet at Nov 6, 2007,
#11
the intro sounds cool but its to repetitive, the electric riff that follows its great! the song flow is great, how it builds little by little , the drums andharmonies are good too.
I didn't like how the first solo flows, it sounds too random, and the second solo some notes sound off IMO.
the outro is great.

The whole song its awesome but the only thing i would tweak would be the solos. great job!

Mind critting mine?(new one in sig) thanks.
#12
Again, love the intro, but I don't like the snares before the distortion comes in.

There are lots of off-notes in the solo...

It got a bit repetitive after a while. But still really good. Overall, 8/10.
#13
to reddeath9 and rodrigomierh

yes, i have to go over the solo again, but thanks for pointin it out

and to the 2 guys above, many ey, thanks
#14
You, sir, have quite the sense of melody.

That being said, it coulda been shorter. I found myself skipping stuff due to repetitive-ness. The solo's kicked ass though.
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#15
As has been said, the repetition is annoying. That's one thing that really annoys me with a lot of people on here. They try to be prog and write long songs by just repeating and it just seems like they're trying too hard. Of course this is not by any means the worst example of this but this really shouldn't be 12 minutes long.

Anyway, as far as the actual music goes, you've been a little careless with some of your chords and basslines in the first heavy riff. I'm a sucker for a good 9th chord but you've got some other top note shifts that don't go well with it. Also the bassline progressions sometimes contrast with the chords (for example bar 31, where the bassline plays two out of key notes, on which is a semitone above the top of the chord, not good).

I love your guitar harmonies though, they're well thought out for sure. When the big 'evil' riff comes in though, the resolving lead every other bar is too dissonant and sounds more random than evil. Just because it uses tritones and semitone shifts doesn't mean you can use open chromaticism. The lead sections following that were lovely though. Well thought out with good drums.

With the repetition I skipped through the rest to the next section at bar 95. Liked the riff that comes from that, more lovely use of 9ths. Seriously though dude, your solo was careless. Too many random notes and mood shifts that didn't make any sense. Especially considering your organised leads and harmonies, the solo (where the leads and harmonies are all that matters) was very disappointing. The riff after that was also pathetic. Total disregard for key, really annoying keyboard leads and just frustrating choice of chords in some of that (bar 186, what's all that about!?).

Really from then on it it was self indulgent nonsense, the acoustic part towards the end would have been good if it had actually had any real relation to the rest of the piece. Again, trying to be prog doesn't work. I've written a song of this kind of length (10+ minutes that is), but I certainly didn't set out for it to be long at all. It just didn't meet a natural ending point until that time. Your song had a good few suitable ending points long before the 12 minutes mark and really you should make your compositions more concise.

You've clearly got good potential and there's some nice ideas but it was very disorganized and you just let yourself down at points.

(Return critting thread is in my sig)
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#16
Its way longer than it needed to be and it sounded forced.

I liked the acoustic intro but then it just started repeating riffs with no main melody apart repeating the intro. It was like listening to a backing track.

To be honest, I didn't really enjoy the solo. I liked some of it but it sounded forced. The "Thats right more soloing" part, I thought was worse. It went out of key and then that riff sounded out of key. Then there were all these weird chord choices going on and I just didn't want to hear anymore.

Sorry if this was too negative, but you've got a lot of non constructive feed back. Cut about half of it (including solo+riff after+weird chords) and then work on making it flow.

EDIT: Pretty much what duncang said ^
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Last edited by myself101 at Nov 7, 2007,
#17
cheers with the crits guys, you made some good points, but remember there is going to be vocals so i need a little repetiton