#1
i need some help with my essay. i chose videogame violence for my topic now the problem i came across is i cant make 3 support statements
only supporting statement i can think of is videogames violence makes people more violent

the thesis i made up is videogames affect the behavior of people i need 3 support statements but i can still change thesis but problem is how can i change it so i can get 3 support statements? besides videogame make peopel more agressive?
i have to make it around a 1000 words
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/newthread.php?do=newthread&f=11#
Smilie

any help is appreciated
my guitar stuff:
ESP JH-600
ValveKing 112
DigiTech Whammy Pedal
Taylor 314CE
Dunlop SW-95 Slash Wah Pedal
Cordoba C7 Nylon String Acoustic Guitar
Metal muff
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster Ash
#2
but it doesnt change behavior of people....
Quote by seokorn
your awesome stoner

Quote by Frobot!
Tapeman is my hero.
#3
yeah, choose against, its easier
Endorsed by Framus Amps


Quote by primusfan
you shoulda lynched that nigger.

*spits in spittoon and feels up his cousin*
#5
ummm young minds are very impressionable? theres one i spose...
<Raven> I got so baked last night
<Raven> that I WOKE UP high o_o
<Raven> Do you have any idea how euphoric that is?
<Raven> I felt like I was being born.
#7
people try to replicate what happens in videogames...?
thats part of the changed in behavior in the same support statement

but it doesnt change behavior of people.


i love videogames but im choosing side that is easier to argue
my guitar stuff:
ESP JH-600
ValveKing 112
DigiTech Whammy Pedal
Taylor 314CE
Dunlop SW-95 Slash Wah Pedal
Cordoba C7 Nylon String Acoustic Guitar
Metal muff
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster Ash
#9
Or when they lose in a violent game and get very mad they want to kill someone?
When I die in Halo I'm mader than when I lose in Madden.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggy01
I was looking at porn at the computer froze
#10
people see so much violence that they become desensitized to it in real life


awesome man i think i can use that. now problem is how can i prove it i have to look for a site that shows how pepole get desinsitized

just need a little more suppport statement
my guitar stuff:
ESP JH-600
ValveKing 112
DigiTech Whammy Pedal
Taylor 314CE
Dunlop SW-95 Slash Wah Pedal
Cordoba C7 Nylon String Acoustic Guitar
Metal muff
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster Ash
#11
the more u play it, the more you think about it - could be a point. it becomes like a habit, as soon as u see a guy coming out of the corner, you shoot him. what about in real life when u have a gun.

when u play it, it looks so cool, u might want to try it just once to experience it.

you might learn more violent ways to express your anger like i personally learned a lot from gta, like how they shoot ppl or take someoen in ur car and dump the car in the lake. i would have never thought about locking someone in my car and dumping it before.

killing ppl in games is so fun, u start to think that killing ppl is so simple, and u forget about how much is actually being affected, like they're familis, they're friends, they're dreams, and u just took that away, but u dont realize cuz u killed so many faceless ppl in the games u play.

those are a few points u can use, i know they're a bit exagerated but thats wat u gotta do, i personally don't think video games can make ppl violent, but apparantly there are few nut jobs that do get violent and its ur job to expose them. u gotta make up some stupid point, and bul**** it so that it fits. Just add lots of big words, and use ur imagination. if u use an example of a situation, make it really realy long. like include lots of detail just to fill it wit words. good luck buddy.
#12
After I played Call of Duty 3 and killed tons of people, I then watched the news and wasn't sad at all about the soliders dying in the war.

^You can use that to prove it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggy01
I was looking at porn at the computer froze
#13
1) Videogames are violent.
--ratings
--how many games sold contain violent content
--example of violent content in a game you own

2) People have been shown to copy behaviour they view
--cite on of the studies, such as the Bobo doll study done by Bandura
--perhaps cite someone saying that some murderer recently was involved in violent games

3) People are getting aggressive as video game content ratings go up
--basically, try to show a correlation of violent crimes and videogames. It might not exist, but there are three types of lies, "lies, damned lies and statistics," you can find someone's numbers that will show a correlation, even if it's in another country Look in Britain or someplace they have strict gun control, as soon as a country has those violent crime goes up.

Conclusion: even though violence in video games doesn't make people do violent things (Eminem has a good line about this in some song, methinks), there is a correlation between what you see and what you do. In our world today, video games are increasingly violent. Having children act out this violence desensitizes them and makes them more likely to behave in aggressive and violent ways (ooh, talk about how troops in some countries are given pets, then they have to murder them, to desensitize the men.) Also, parents do not seem to be restricting what their children play, so children assume the parents condone this behaviour (ie: support it), when most likely the parents simply aren't aware of the violent nature of the game. For these reasons I think we need to be more careful about what we let our children play, because life is little more than a glorified videogame, and I don't want some kid to steal my car and blow my brains out, and for me to die just because my health wasn't 100%. Therefore I encourage all of you to go get health insurance!

Or something like that. What grade are you in? Writing an essay needs to be childe's play for you! And look, no matter what you believe, you can ALWAYs support something. Indeed, it is most fun to support arguments you don't agree with. It'll stretch your ability to think and reason, and then when you are arguing for something you believe in, you can go ahead and figure out what the other guy might argue, and figure out ways to undermine his points.

(Life as a debater sucks in high school but it can actually be kind of fun. The trip to Nationals certainly was!)
#14
Dang JahJah you basically wrote his essay for him lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggy01
I was looking at porn at the computer froze
#15
You could probably make a point about how in violent multiplayer games, players can feel that the violence is ok/good because everyone they play with online is doing/thinking the same thing. Sorta like a pack mentality.
#16
thank you so much jajah warrior.

Or something like that. What grade are you in? Writing an essay needs to be childe's play for you! And look, no matter what you believe, you can ALWAYs support something. Indeed, it is most fun to support arguments you don't agree with. It'll stretch your ability to think and reason, and then when you are arguing for something you believe in, you can go ahead and figure out what the other guy might argue, and figure out ways to undermine his points.


english is not my 1st languange and i never learned grammar in spanish or english only thing i know is when to use period and commas in fanboys and that all i know and i connect everything with and, so,because so my writing aint so great

problem i had was coming with support statements

EDIT: hold on i just saw structre and kind of confused how it goes with my thesis videogames affect the behavior did you change thesis that videogames are not part of the problem and parents should keep watch on what kids do?
my guitar stuff:
ESP JH-600
ValveKing 112
DigiTech Whammy Pedal
Taylor 314CE
Dunlop SW-95 Slash Wah Pedal
Cordoba C7 Nylon String Acoustic Guitar
Metal muff
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster Ash
Last edited by stefan1988 at Oct 28, 2007,
#17
Quote by stefan1988
awesome man i think i can use that. now problem is how can i prove it i have to look for a site that shows how pepole get desinsitized

just need a little more suppport statement


use UG as your site for information in the essay.. ur doing it IRL anyway...
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#18
No, I just added in a solution. You can drop the point about "parents ought to watch what their kids do" entirely.


A three point, five paragraph essay is something you'll need to be able to write to get through college. Pretty much any writing assignment is going to be in three point form. Unless you are trying to persuade someone, then you can use a funky five point form. Personally, I really like a two point form, but with three subpoints on each main point, and that's because I like "problem--solution" formats. So it's "problem--what it is, why you should care, maybe some history or a related problem" and "solution--ideas, why mine is right, how we can implement it" or something like that.

It's cool if english isn't your first language and all, but I suggest you get with your teacher and try to figure out how to get this format drilled into your head A really good book is "Writing for College." It basically has examples of every kind of paper you could ever hope to write, with steps on how to do it all and format it all and everything. When in doubt, look at their examples, to make sure you have th eheading right, or you are using the right style. It's a lifesaver for me, who can never remember whose address goes where on a business letter

Seriously, look up the experiment done by Bandura, I think maybe it's Alex Bandura? They did a nifty study showing that waching an adult act aggressively really increased the kids aggressive behaviour.

And good luck with the paper!

Desensitization study
Bobo doll

note: don't ever ever ever ever quote wikipedia for a speech or paper.
#19
Quote by p o e
use UG as your site for information in the essay.. ur doing it IRL anyway...



If you do, cite it as ultimate-guitar.edu/thepit though.
Schecter Loomis
LTD Horizon
Ibanez RGA121
Marshall DSL100
Peavey 5150

Quote by emagdnimasisiht
haha
This is the funniest thing i've ever read on UG.
lespaulrocks39, you sir are awesome.
#20
JahJahwarrior thanks so much man. i start writing on it tomorrow since is 1:17am here
if anything i just post again but thanks so much man helping me out find links and for references really appreciated it
my guitar stuff:
ESP JH-600
ValveKing 112
DigiTech Whammy Pedal
Taylor 314CE
Dunlop SW-95 Slash Wah Pedal
Cordoba C7 Nylon String Acoustic Guitar
Metal muff
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster Ash
#21
It shows unnecessary violence to small children.
It ****s up the social life of children.
It causes a lot of people to be overweight because of the lack of sports.

There you go
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#22
My pleasure. As a debater I wrote so many short, simple speeches for rounds in Congress, it wasn't even funny. In one day of serious debate, I'd sketch out maybe 50 speeches, 25 topics, one speech for each side (for or against the bill). So coming up with a few main points is pretty simple. Plus we just covered some of the stuff on violence a fwe weeks back in a psych class.