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#1
So, this is the place for the best things you've ever heard from a drunk person/ things you've said while you're drunk.

Without a further ado, I'll start.

*From my drunk friend who was sitting on the ground while we were standing around him*

"Guys, sit down, you're like skyscrapers. Dont make me go 9/11 and hit you in the nuts!"

your turn...
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#2
one of my best friends while drunk

*hey come here, I want to make out with you*

I just ran and never looked back
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You are so going to hell, but that is hilarious.


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Idiot
#7
Guy was drunk and like, tripping everywhere and laughing
"You're drunk"
"no i'm not!"
"You're high"
"no man, i'm drunk!"

good times.
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I'm not in college, but i'd imagine the parties like the ones I just downloaded...

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Hey, one of those people is me!

Just hang on a second, I'll be back.
#8
Ok, here's another one, from the same guy.

"Tree's arent racist, they dont give a f**k where they grow"
Currently Looking For:
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N64: Mario 64, Majora's Mask, Harvest Moon
#11
My friend Ryan; It was his first time getting wasted lmfao it was really funny though
He was running around pretending a shovel was a rifle, but then threw it at me. After that, he laid on the ground and said " Hey I'm a photosynthesizing piece of ****!"

but that;s not all

He was chasing another friend of mine, screaming about being a unicorn and threatening to kick us all in the teeth.
#12
*Wacks out Penis*

"Awww man that's the best thing i've seen in my life!"

Also..

"Wow i can't wait till i start shaving!" - Coming from a 16 year old friend.
Sweet.
#13
"YOU'S SAFE MATE AIGHT?!? YER FINE BY ME, MAH BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER EH? MUCH RESPECT FO YUU! PROPA BO! AIGHT! SAFE MATE, SAYYYYEF!!!" Extremely loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare...

I only gave the guy a cigarette.
#14
I have had plenty of my mates attempt to kiss me, tell me the love me and get a bit too close for comfort whilst drunk. Also i had this guy going on about how he loves chocolate once
#15
Haha, these are great. Some more of my own...
"Please excuse me, im inder the unfluence"
and
*Talking about those alien tri-pod things in War of the Worlds*
"Its like a meatgrinder of science, except it ****s out the meaty bits"
Currently Looking For:
NES: Zelda (Gold Cart), Metroid, Ninja Turtles Series
N64: Mario 64, Majora's Mask, Harvest Moon
#16
Apparently i came in from a wedding really ****-faced, and started shouting at my mum - " TAKE OFF MY ****IN FEET, WHY THE HELL WONT THEY COME OFF?! OH MY GOD!"

Good Times. Hangover next day = bad times.
#17
"Kneel down boy and wrap your lips around this..." - my father.


But really, I cannay think of any good quotes mainly because if they're drunk, it is most likely so am I. I am quite a lightweight and aim to get drunk as fast as possible.
#18
"I respect you, and you smell nice." "Get up you drunk ****"

"Are we going to cuddle tonight?" "Not the Face."

"**** up or I'll eat you" " I know you want to hit her but shes a girl"

all from Gavin Sharp, the ejiit that he is.

good times.

my own best of:

"NO NO **** you im going THIS way"
"**** the taxi"
"rape"
"Ill be alright"
"wheres my mum"
"Im not gunna be sick"
"NOOOO"
Acoustic Percussion Guitar Player
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Last edited by robertreilly666 at Oct 28, 2007,
#19
*lying in a puddle after falling over*

I'm fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnee - look il get up now.

*proceeded not to get up*
I'm so unique I don't even have a sig.
#20
"HANNNAAAAAHHHH! Come on and dance, you're missing Lionel Richie!"
Ahhh the joy of drunk sisters.
Hey Meg.
Proud of you.
#21
I once denounced the French revolution in some detail, basically claiming it was useless because it 'just replaced some French twats with some other French twats'
I seem to remember saying something about it being like a wheel as well... That was a good night.

I normally just end up signing random stuff, 'Barbie Girl', songs from 'Grease to a pizza (in the pizza place)...'Country Road take me home'.

Or I just tell people I love them.
Super Leeds and Classy Cas!
Last edited by GreenDayChris at Oct 28, 2007,
#23
The other night Me and this girl were fairly drunk and my pick-up line was:

'You're the girl of my dreams'

It worked a ****ing charm, try it next time.
NOPE.
#24
"what do you think about the M1? do you feel it fulfills its job as a road?"

(drunk guy) "well the thing with that, is while it caters to a large audience, it doesnt actually ha...WANKER!!...ve a very good sponge cake dressing."

sponge cake dressing was something he had created in his previous drunken ramble
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#25
"Dude, I'm never drinking again.. 'gimme another beer."

After throwing up for 3 hours or so, passing out and scaring us all ****less 'cos we thought he had choked on his own vomit.
Third out in the MOD contest '08.
#26
"you're my very best best ever chocolate friend"

(I ducttaped her inside the closet so I could have the bed)
purple nurple!

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dis meanz yoo can make three p0nx albums!

One that sucks, one that doesn't suck, and one that nobody cares about!
#28
My mate was on his bike. It's one of those Mongoose ones. And we were walking down the road, and we see these kids coming near us. Luckily we knew them all so no chance of getting stabbed. But one comes near us and hes obviously off his head on booze and god knows what else, and he keeps saying 'oh my god' every sentence. Then he finally points at the 'MONGOOSE' on the bike and goes " oh my god! a mongoose! its like a mon.. but a goose" about 10 times.
so we were laughing our heads off and he turns to me and says "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE JOHN!" and that was even funnier.


One of the times you 'just have to be there' huh?
#29
My friend came to school drunk/high one day and another friend said to him "Whoa! I didnt know you smoked weed!!" and he replied with "WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Its ok, I go to your school."
--
...and the world sighed in relief
#30
My friend was like.. "TITTIESS!!!!! TITTIES!!!!!"

One time my friend got drunk and ate a pumpkin
#31
once i tried to sober one of my friends up (i was drunk too :P) and i dunked him in a river and he was all calm when he was in the water and i pull him out and he starts to thrash around going 'HELP IM DROWNING IM DROWNING!' then i shove him back in.. wash rinse repeat
and also that same night him and another buddy were trying to throw a flashlight in the river cause they thought it was the one ring and i was golum for trying to save my ****in flashlight
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
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that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


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#32
It's probably not really funny to anyone except me and my mates but once we were at this party, and one friend wnet and pointed at my other friend with the intention of saying something to him, but got distracted by his arm.

It basically went: *Points* Tom!....My arm is really long!

It was great at the time
#33
lat night we were pumpkin smashing.. my friend: "jackolanters are easier to smash than pumpkins mother****er!"
#34
My friend (male) just pulls up his top and shouts

"LOOK AT MY STIFF NIPPLES"

Then proceeds to laugh his arse off.
#35
^ thats true jackolanterns have holes. =]
.
Am i on fire? OHHH NOOOO!!! I'M ON FIREEEEEE

#36
These are sooo funny!

Last night me and my buds were at home getting ready to go to a party and we were all wasted, and I was like "lets ****ing partayy!!!" and every one is like "yeeaaa Partayy partay" and in the midst of all the yelling my friend Barely yells "Yeaaa lets go suck a dick!!!" and everyone gets dead ****ing silent. Good times.
-\_/-
Quote by Fred1000000
BlackZeppelin is like Ghandi. With a bigger sense of humor.
it's the silence between the notes that makes the music.
#37
I think i got drunk and ran around a woods shouting "I AM AN OCTOPUS" then someone approached me and i threw myself on the floor i and shouted "YOU CAN'T SEE ME IM A NINJA!"


i'm hardcore
.
Am i on fire? OHHH NOOOO!!! I'M ON FIREEEEEE

#38
^ lighht weiight!!!!!
-\_/-
Quote by Fred1000000
BlackZeppelin is like Ghandi. With a bigger sense of humor.
it's the silence between the notes that makes the music.
#39
ohhh

It was like the 1st time i got pissed...
.
Am i on fire? OHHH NOOOO!!! I'M ON FIREEEEEE

#40
lol, i'm just fucking with you. I'd be too embarrassed to tell you guys my first time story.
-\_/-
Quote by Fred1000000
BlackZeppelin is like Ghandi. With a bigger sense of humor.
it's the silence between the notes that makes the music.
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