#1
This is just something i've written in about 15 - 20 minutes. I don't write stuff regularly at all, but i've read through this a few times and i don't think it's terrible. Still, i'd like some opinions and constructive crit. It would really be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

I remember how it ended up like this,
You said you'd be there always,
It drew such a lovely little picture,
I framed it and hung it on my wall,
But i ended up tearing it down.

You're made of plasticine,
You let people mould you,
However they want, you don't say a word,
Even if they're playing children's games,
Maybe if you had cried for help,
I would have saved you,
But I let you walk the plank and,
Drown.

You haven't got a hold on me,
You never had a hold on me,
However hard you tried to grip me in your fist,
They will never have a hold on me,
Like they have a hold on you,
I suppose sometimes I'm harsh,
But you deserve to know the truth,
Still, I'm laughing,
Because you try your best to cut me,
But your words are blunt,
And I'm immune.