#1
Solemn men,
Look at fallen faces,
Admire the death,
Of whole damned races.

Think of a place,
You can hide,
From feelings overwhelming,
That previously you denied.

Imagine a dream,
To quench your desire,
Find your heart,
Feed your fire.

Now they stare,
At the dying light,
They’re letting go,
This is their last fight.


Crit for crit.
O Hai der.
#2
Alright it's a good attempt but it is extremely short and doesn't convey much information.
Good basis for a song, but it needs alot more information and some more imagery.
Keep working though, it has potential
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
-Frank Zappa
#3
I dont know what it is. It might be a song. I just wrote it I know pretty basic rhyming and everything I think its bad, but I was told to put it up.
O Hai der.