#1
This is just a poem I found the other day, I wrote for a high school english class. Thought that I'd put it up and see what you think! Crits are appreciated, I might revisit it if I get some good feedback.

It was basically an assignment to write about a topic, using a bunch of literary devices, (or is it poetic ones? I can't remember...). Either way, this was my result.

The road seems endless as the journey begins,
But once you start, it's all downhill,
How quick it really is!
It's a test of will, an exam of the mind.
A prelude of service for a happier time.
A beautiful deformity, a scratch on the glass,
A wondrous fever, ceasing to pass.
A brilliant noise, a heavenly sound,
Played in a key that will never be found.
As vast as the ocean, this dangerous sea.
All of us cross it, to land among the free.
It's one of many, a spoke in a wheel.
It's the one and only, your one chance to feel.
The wheels under our feet carry us home.
Out of the darkness, out of the gloam.
A wandering nomad, without a place.
Constantly moving and changing his face.
A match for the ages, a heavyweight bout.
As vicious as Cassius, it'll knock you out.
A speck among billions seemingly small.
A lone dying leaf, joining the fall.
Forever and ever it drags on and on,
An endless eternity of drifting along.
It's mediocre, decent at best.
One day is special, you live through the rest.
#2
I really think that's great, although I do despise the happy-go-lucky vibe that it gave me. Also the topic is extremely cliche. But if I was your teacher I would have given you an A.

One nit-picky, bitchy thing is that if you come out of the gloam you're going into the night, and that sort of contradicts the 'out of the darkness' part. But that's just me being overly technical, really it makes quite a bit of sense because any idiot could see that you mean to come out the darkness into the light just by the context (providing they know what gloam is).

Anyways, cool.

This is mine.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=701401