#1
Hey guys this is pretty much a song for my Uncle Rob. He has cancer. I tohught id write a song for him. Umm if you guys have any suggestions please tell. Thanks

Why I asked myself again
Another dose of novocaine
Wont stop the pain
Its like hell
Is reigning over me
And it wont stop
Until I’ve found my final resting place

(Chorus)
One day Im gonna blow this cancer away
One day Im gonna live just like I used too
One day I’m gonna rebuild this empty skyway
And one day we will meet up again
In the very end

Verse 2

Ive got 7 different pills
And each one
Kills me in its own way
Red, blue and white
None of these even sound right
Im starting to lose my mind
And this god is starting to be a little damn unkind

(Chorus)

I’m Starting too get tired
I’m starting to realize the meaning of pain
Im starting to recognize
That our lives are all the same
This is slowly killing me
And I cant find a way to ease this ****ing pain
"You've got to dance like nobody else is watching.
Dream like you will live forever.
Live like you're going to die tomorrow,
and love like it is never gonna hurt."
-- James Dean (1931-1955)

Quote by JakeTheDuck
This man has the right idea.


^
oh yeahhh
Last edited by The-Trooper94 at Oct 29, 2007,
#2
Why I asked myself again
Another dose of novocaine
Wont stop the pain
Its like hell
Is reigning over me
And it wont stop
Until I’ve found my final resting place

i really like the start first 3 lines the 5th line sounds kind of awards as does the last..

(Chorus)
One day Im gonna blow this cancer away
One day Im gonna live just like I used too
One day I’m gonna rebuild this empty skyway
And one day we will meet up again
In the very end

this is a nice chorus to go with i think it fits perfectly. i think this is wonderful stanza i dont see any flaws seem tos run smoothly and fit's perfectly with the goal in mind

Verse 2

Ive got 7 different pills
And each one
Kills me in its own way
Red, blue and white
None of these even sound right
Im starting to lose my mind
And this god is starting to be a little damn unkind

this is a good stanza though maybe variate on the red white and blu just sounds kind of strange to me red white and blu is patriotic? you could take outhte line too i thought maybe that would sound better or change to different colors

(Chorus)

I’m Starting too get tired
I’m starting to realize the meaning of pain
Im starting to recognize
That our lives are all the same
This is slowly killing me
And I cant find a way to ease this ****ing pain

mm the swear seems unnecessary but i'm sure it could work i like the first 4 lines semms to transition smooth not choppy like some of the other stanza's

OVer allt his is very good seems a bit choppy not much structure.. but w/e songs dont need much structure as long as the rythem works btw i hope your uncle gets better. having cancer is hard
It's not stalking to watch her sleep if she fell asleep watching a movie.
a silly wind
(\__/)
(='.'=) LoNg LivE tHe BunNy!
(")_(")
Last edited by me<-needs help at Oct 29, 2007,
#3
ok thanks man...yeh i didnt realizie it was patriotic till i read tht line over again lol.. Thanks
"You've got to dance like nobody else is watching.
Dream like you will live forever.
Live like you're going to die tomorrow,
and love like it is never gonna hurt."
-- James Dean (1931-1955)

Quote by JakeTheDuck
This man has the right idea.


^
oh yeahhh
#4
aye np wanna crit. mine? the city of light
It's not stalking to watch her sleep if she fell asleep watching a movie.
a silly wind
(\__/)
(='.'=) LoNg LivE tHe BunNy!
(")_(")