#1
song i wrote for my brother its simple but can't seem to finish the circle of completion...anyways some feed back would be greatly appreciated...its written like a song since i have chords for it already so if its not in traditional form dont go crazy

We Were Young


We come from the same blood,
we come from the same problems
You grew up small i grew up tall,
its all the same

Chours

I sincerly miss,
Those cininimon sticks,
We use to smoke,
When we was young

In the summer time,
We had fun
In the summer time,
We was young

1998 came in with a blurr of passion
Singing along to songs we never truly belonged
Sweet martha young sweet martha,
teaching us the golden rule
Always do unto others as they done unto you

I Sincerly miss,
Those KROQ bands,
We use to listen to,
When was rad

In the summer time,
We had fun
In the summer time,
We was young


We come from the same mom,
we come from the same dad
You got light hair I got dark hair,
but who really cares

I Sincerly miss,
Those lovely time,
We spent together,
When we was brothers

In the summer time,
We had fun
In the summer time,
We was young

Ending

3 months,
Has gone by,
I'm still trying get over,
That natural high
3 months,
Has died away,
Back to school,
Back that way

(2x)
Please don't tell me your mad at me
Please dont tell me your angry
Please remember those summer days and summer nights
When we was together as a family

In the summer time,
We had fun
In the summer time,
We
Were
Young
#2
i'm sure it was mostly intentional, but there were way too many grammer issues in this for me to get into it. sorry.
when birds flap their wings do the make believe they're really arms?
#3
I actually like the grammer issues in this. It almost gives it...character! There were weak parts in this, you should maybe rephrase in parts to help the flow, that said I am actually suprised to say I like it. Its very basic but it kindof reminds me of the very early blues songs.


return crit?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=591210
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
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