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#1
So, I was hanging out at my friend's house this afternoon, watching his four year old son. Now, his son ordinarily behaves very well when I'm there, because I'm his favorite person in the world, but lately he's been acting pretty badly. Back talking, and what not.. And today he jumped on his baby sister, and when she began to cry, he covered her mouth, and almost suffocated her.

Well, his mom called his dad to tell him about all this, and he was told he was going to get an ass whoopin' that he'd never forget. So, I talked to his dad, and asked him not to do this, as violence is never the answer. Instead, I proposed we play a game with his son. I told Devon's mom to tell him that if he didn't start behaving, she was going to kill me, and he's never see me again. And he, of course, began to back talk her again, and pointed out that she would never really do this, because she likes me so much. So, she grabbed a knife, and pulled me gently by the hair into the next room, where we covered the knife in fake blood. We then smeared it all over my face and clothes, and poured some on the floor. I then began to scream and what not, to make it really convincing. So, she calls Devon into the room to see what she "did". He immediately begins to freak out, and apologizes to his mom and started begging for me to wake up, which I wouldn't.. Then he said, "Mom! Tell God that if he brings Cory back, I'll never be bad again!"

When I heard those words, I immediately opened my eyes and gave him a hug, and reminded him of what he just promised God. And he runs over to his mom, gives her a hug, apologizes, and tells her he's sorry, and that he loves her. He, of course, wouldn't touch me, or come anywhere near me for the rest of the night because I was still covered in the fake blood..

My question.. Do you think this will scar little Devon for life?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

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#5
Quote by Moontard
you guys are ****ing assholes

+1
Quote by rocker138
Wow...I can't believe no one thought of that, I actually have lost 5% of my confidence for not thinking of that, I bow to you



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#6
....Yes?

You should have just beaten his ass.
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#7
Quote by steee21
Now that's parenting.


I'm sure he'll be fine.

I'm not his parent, I'm his best friend.

Oh come on, people.. It's halloween. It's the time of year when all of us twenty somethings get together to scare the **** out of kids.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#9
That is by far the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
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#10
Hah smooth! now thats breaking the conventions for parents
Oh dear god, I dont feel alive.
I have a new blog, of the interesting type.

In so far i have seen,

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7. Architecture in Helsinki

and counting.
#11
Quote by jimmmypage#1
Hah smooth! now thats breaking the conventions for parents

It's all about adapting. Spankings don't work, talking doesn't work, groundings and time outs don't work. Taking away his favorite toys didn't work.

That's when you have to fake your death. Tony told me he's been a little angel all night.

I should write a book.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#12
thats new age parenting I guess...
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#13
That's quite possibly the finest story I've read in some time!

Nah, he'll be right, Kids get over stuff way quicker and easier than people give them credit for!
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#16
i lol'd.

and yes he will be scarred for life, and when he finds out when he gets a little older, then, may God help you.
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could have been 3 's but there wasn't nearly enough exclamation marks to emphasize the anger/disbelief

oh yeah
#17
Quote by Jack Off Jill
So, I was hanging out at my friend's house this afternoon, watching his four year old son. Now, his son ordinarily behaves very well when I'm there, because I'm his favorite person in the world, but lately he's been acting pretty badly. Back talking, and what not.. And today he jumped on his baby sister, and when she began to cry, he covered her mouth, and almost suffocated her.

Well, his mom called his dad to tell him about all this, and he was told he was going to get an ass whoopin' that he'd never forget. So, I talked to his dad, and asked him not to do this, as violence is never the answer. Instead, I proposed we play a game with his son. I told Devon's mom to tell him that if he didn't start behaving, she was going to kill me, and he's never see me again. And he, of course, began to back talk her again, and pointed out that she would never really do this, because she likes me so much. So, she grabbed a knife, and pulled me gently by the hair into the next room, where we covered the knife in fake blood. We then smeared it all over my face and clothes, and poured some on the floor. I then began to scream and what not, to make it really convincing. So, she calls Devon into the room to see what she "did". He immediately begins to freak out, and apologizes to his mom and started begging for me to wake up, which I wouldn't.. Then he said, "Mom! Tell God that if he brings Cory back, I'll never be bad again!"

When I heard those words, I immediately opened my eyes and gave him a hug, and reminded him of what he just promised God. And he runs over to his mom, gives her a hug, apologizes, and tells her he's sorry, and that he loves her. He, of course, wouldn't touch me, or come anywhere near me for the rest of the night because I was still covered in the fake blood..

My question.. Do you think this will scar little Devon for life?



theres something wrong here
#18
That is by far THE best child discipline method ever.


I just had to come here to say that.

Edit: But honestly, you shouldn't have woken up. Should have slipped out the back door and never come into contact with the kid again.
#19
Quote by Jack Off Jill
It's all about adapting. Spankings don't work, talking doesn't work, groundings and time outs don't work. Taking away his favorite toys didn't work.

That's when you have to fake your death. Tony told me he's been a little angel all night.

I should write a book.


You, sir, have just a slight touch of INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE


Sorry. But that was pretty damn awesome/sick. I applaud you. Sorta.


I pity you and RHCP's kids.
#20
JESUS!!!
That kid is gonna be a ****ed up kid
Crack addict at best
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#21
Haha yes write a book, id buy it.

'101 alternative methods for disciplining your child (also works on coworkers and drunk friends)'
Oh dear god, I dont feel alive.
I have a new blog, of the interesting type.

In so far i have seen,

1. The Darkness
2. Wolfmother
3. The Grates
4. Faker
5. Kings of Leon
6. Coheed and Cambria
7. Architecture in Helsinki

and counting.
#22
Quote by jimmmypage#1
Haha yes write a book, id buy it.

'101 alternative methods for disciplining your child (also works on coworkers and drunk friends)'

I'd have to give it a snazzier title if I'm going to compete with Paul Reiser and Bill Cosby.

How about umm..

Uhh...

I can't think of anything. I need a sitcom, so I can use it as a play on words for my parenting book.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#23
wow that's awesome parenting right there!
I don't like the idea of raising a kid with any form of religion but ok whatever floats your boat I guess.

I mean it's just a little act, and if it makes him behave, and love god I guess there's no harm done, I'd say just the opposite.
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#24
Quote by Stukart
wow that's awesome parenting right there!
I don't like the idea of raising a kid with any form of religion but ok whatever floats your boat I guess.

I mean it's just a little act, and if it makes him behave, and love god I guess there's no harm done, I'd say just the opposite.

He wasn't raised with a religion. Both his parents are agnostic, but Devon picked up God from somewhere.. Possibly TV.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#25
Quote by Jack Off Jill
When I heard those words, I immediately opened my eyes and gave him a hug, and reminded him of what he just promised God. And he runs over to his mom, gives her a hug, apologizes, and tells her he's sorry, and that he loves her. He, of course, wouldn't touch me, or come anywhere near me for the rest of the night because I was still covered in the fake blood..

My question.. Do you think this will scar little Devon for life?


Aww, that's so sweet.

But as for your question, yes, it will scar him for life.
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#26
Here we go again. You americans need no help making yourselves look stupid, you do it just fine anyway.

Congrats
Yahyah
#27


He will end a male-stripper.
Bang-Bang Bart


Quote by Jack Off Jill
Yes, but at least we're interesting.



And swedes ain't?

Pfffh.
#28
Quote by Yahz0r
Here we go again. You americans need no help making yourselves look stupid, you do it just fine anyway.

Congrats

Yes, but at least we're interesting.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#30
Quote by Moontard
you guys are ****ing assholes




Man, I love first-posters.

Anwyay, while what you did seemed a little excessive, at least it solved the problem.

Besides, technically, violence did actually solve the problem.
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#31
Quote by Smokey Amp


Man, I love first-posters.

Anwyay, while what you did seemed a little excessive, at least it solved the problem.

Besides, technically, violence did actually solve the problem.

Not really, there was no violence. There was fake violence. Two different things.



I'm a pacifist.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#32
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Not really, there was no violence. There was fake violence. Two different things.


Oh, sorry, you're right.

Emulating violence to teach a lesson is much better.

Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
#33
Yeah, smearing yourself in blood and pretending to be dead is much better than administering a disciplinary slap across the back of the head. Cause "violence is not the answer" and that sure as hell wasn't violent .

I can only imagine how the poor child will develop mentally with parents who agree to such retarded "games".


EDIT: Next time the child is being disobedient, have his mom pour kerosene on your head and set you on fire. That'll teach'em.
Dear God, do you actually answer prayers?

Yes, but only in a way indistinguishable from random luck or the result of your own efforts.
Last edited by Mad Marius at Oct 30, 2007,
#35
Quote by Mad Marius
Yeah, smearing yourself in blood and pretending to be dead is much better than administering a disciplinary slap across the back of the head. Cause "violence is not the answer" and that sure as hell wasn't violent .

I can only imagine how the poor child will develop mentally with parents who agree to such retarded "games".


EDIT: Next time the child is being disobedient, have his mom pour kerosene on your head and set you on fire. That'll teach'em.


Man you're getting old, you forgot about the "it's-teaching-him-that-praying-to-god-will-make-good-things-happen!" part!
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#36
Quote by Smokey Amp
Oh, sorry, you're right.

Emulating violence to teach a lesson is much better.


It's the American way.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#38
Quote by Fredde_
hahaha how old is that kid?

Four.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#39
i think that if you are afraid u scard him with that... dont let him watch tv
#40
Quote by Fredde_
i think that if you are afraid u scard him with that... dont let him watch tv

The blood didn't scare him really, he watches scary movies all the time. His favorite movie is Candy Man. It was the idea that he was partially responsible for the death of his best friend.

Oh wow.. I am sick..
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.