#1
This is a song I am working on. I don't think I will be around for very much longer do to my health. I am only 40, and want to leave my kids something about me. I am not happy with it yet, but I need to get it right. My father died at 41 years old, 1 month before I was born and know nothing about him. It has left a empty place in my hart. So it means alot to me to get it right.


Slow tempo.


--G------------------------------------C-----------------------------------G
I grew up in New Carlisle-----graduated when I was eighteen.

G--------------------------------------------------C---------------D
I attended the local baptist church----like a good boy.

G----------------C--------------------G----------------------D
Got a job.----Fell in love.------Praised my god above.


"After this point it falls apart and drags on any ideas please let me know. should there be a corus at this point"
Last edited by violinmore at Oct 30, 2007,
#2
Two more lines of verse would be good before the chorus. Like a pre-chorus or something. Good luck.
#3
go for 1 more verse, chorus than
Quote by Moggan13
Serjem is like a Bishops testicals: Swollen
ಠ_ಠ
IIIIfb * KARKOLI * ytIIII(mostly rock... a little funky, a little hard just the way you want it )
#4
Add an e-minor and a-minor in the progression for the prechorus, builds up a little emotion before the chorus
#5
I've moved this to techniques because the main S+L forum is for original finished or near finished articles. You should get some help here.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#6
Thank you for the help. I took some of the ideas and added a little more. however I know it's got a way to go. Please keep the ideas coming. Let me know if this will work.

--G------------------------------------C-----------------------------------G
I grew up in New Carlisle-----graduated when I was eighteen.

G--------------------------------------------------C---------------D
I attended the local baptist church----like a good boy.

G----------------C--------------------G----------------------D
Got a job.----Fell in love.------Praised my god above.

" Below is what I added "

-------------Em-----------------C-------Em--------------------------D
Held my girl with all my love Making every moment last.
-------Am-----------------------------------------------D
Life goes on and thats the way it should be.

Chorus

------G-------------D--------------------------------Em---------------------------------C
Let life go on after your gone but leave every one with good memories.

" I know I need to add to the chorus"
Last edited by violinmore at Oct 30, 2007,
#8
yeh like what you added man just keep going u doing a good job talk bout the hihlights in your life amybe the days youre kids where born the happy memories might go good
#9
Narrate ur life to them , say what you've learnt from life. What are the choices that u regret and blah , blah , blah.

If you really want to leave something for ur kids . Leave them with huge sum of money . And if you are so sure that u'll die soon (bull**** be little optimistic ) . Spend quality time with ur family . Do whatever **** u wanted to do instead of wasting ur time on writing a song . Trust me they'll remmeber you. You can call me insensitive but I am saying the right thing here.
Hi
#10
even so, a song is nice to leave to your family like writing one for your girlfriend, he's writing a good song, and therefore he should keep on going

i like it (thumbs up)
#11
I don't know if you're planning on doing the whole song like that, but how about if you only write the first verse about what you did, and the rest of the lyrics can be about lessons you've learnt..It would just seem more interesting that way

anyway...good luck
--F-F-T-S---
--EbOla----
---name pending?--

Quote by PlayMadness
No. Everybody dies. And one day, given that your relationship doesn't crash and burn like so many do, one of you will end up deep in sorrow while watching the other one die.


#12
Quote by Falconforce15
even so, a song is nice to leave to your family like writing one for your girlfriend, he's writing a good song, and therefore he should keep on going

i like it (thumbs up)


Hi