#1
Hi guys, I've been working on this song for a couple weeks, I finally got it all put together. I want some really detailed crits and I'll be happy to return the detailed crits. I want to know what you guys think of everything especially the vocals because I'm not that confident with my vocals yet.

Here's the lyrics:

Lights out and you're ready to go
And you know that your life has passed you by
Cause time does fly
Made the same mistakes all again
This time you back it up with friends
In the end

Save me from myself again
Can't start over
Can't pretend
Save me from myself again
Can't bring back
What's already dead

Times up and you have to show
What you've done with all your time
What's on your mind
Take back all that you gave
Looking for a save from your grave
It's all the same

Repeat Chorus

The song is about people who live crappy lives then regret it when they're older.
Thanks in advance guys, the song is on my profile, titled WAKE UP
#3
Ok song, but i listened to your other one and the lyrics seem like your complaining about someone or some people and I think you should write about more than just one thing, if you even can.
#4
In this song I'm not complaining about anything, I'm just writing what I see people doing, which is messing up their lives by doing stupid things, then they regret it later. In my other song I'm talking about someone who always has to be right about things, who won't ever be wrong, but I'm not complaining about anything in either one. So as you can see they are both about completely different things. Thanks for the crit though even though it wasn't very helpful.
Last edited by altgrunge at Oct 30, 2007,
#5
hey man, overall, i like the song.. here's the thing about the vocals though.. I really think you have a good voice for the kind of music you play and I know that it can sound so much better. I don't mean to sound harsh, but at times, the vocals weren't good. the good news is that it can be fixed. Whether it's just something you can do better and need to re-record or just cause you need some lessons, either way, no big deal. Like I said, you have a good voice, just not quite record ready.. ya know what I mean? But aside from vocals, it's awesome. I've heard your stuff before and I like it all.. just focus on polishing up those vocals man.
monoslang.bandcamp.com

reverbnation.com/monoslang
#6
Thanks a lot for the crit man, I know what you mean about the vocals, I've been singing seriously for about 4 monthes now so it's still kind of new to me. I agree that they need to be changed, I just can't figure out how though. These vocals were kind of a rough draft because I did them with only a couple of takes since I didn't have time. But again, thanks a lot for the crit.
#7
Not a bad quality recording, and the gritty vocals work brilliantly! Also, the mixing is pretty tight. However, I'd say it'd be worth buying yourself a decent drum program like BFD or EZDrummer....they ain't cheap but would turn your demo into a seriously slick-sounding track!

As for the song itself, it's well-written and catchy, but forgettable - kind of like grungy pop really. Not the sort of thing I usually listen to, but I enjoyed it!
I especially liked the lead guitar coming in during the chorus,which really adds punch to the melody.

All in all then, a pretty good song;certainly good enough that you should consider getting some more high-quality studio equipment in the future...