#1
For years I tried to get the recognition in politics that I so rightly deserved. My views resonated with those of the people, but for some reason the word wasn’t getting out for them to hear. Finally, it seemed that people had taken noticed and appretiated all that I can do for them. Ide made my rounds across the country, giving speech after speech, to town after town, and Now the favor was being recognized in the form of a letter.
“Dear Mr. Kirpatrick,
We have been following your speeches, and empathizing with your views over the past few years in the political world. We are but a small group of political hermits if you will. We have been watching our countries integrity decline at an increasing rate over the decades past, and realize that it is gogin to take a fresh new mind to help aid in the reinstitution of classical american values in the office. To show our support, we would like to envite you to a party in your honor next Saturday at my families mansion. There will be food, drink, and music;but most importantly, those you’ve been dying to meet. your supporters. It will be held in my ballroom at 136 Pinegrove Ave. in vermont, and we hope you will grace us with your presence.
Sincerely,
Dr. Craig & Supporters
“They seem like a friendly group” I thought to myself.
The drive to the mansion seemed to drag on forever, although the scenery was breathtaking. The long winding roads were lined with ancient willows fastdiously painted with a contrast that I thought was only possible in black and white photography. It’s bark was full of lifee as well. Wrinkled and peeling off, as if it was trying to break itself free from its stationary host. I dozed off until I felt the car slow down and my driver awoke me. “were here sir” he said.
The mansion was enormous.
#2
It failed to drag me in, to be honest. But that's not your fault, as this post is extremely random. However, the grammar, spelling, and general vocabulary is pretty decent.

I'm not sure other people will get what the hell is going on here though. It sure confused me at first. You could've at least explained why you're posting this here.
#3
Resonated is the wrong word to use there.

Gah... and who would respond positively to receiving a letter with so many spelling errors?
<Dobzilla> because "when you were born, they thought yo' momma shit herself."
<Frehnchy> ...
<esther_mouse> ...
<Rankles> ...
<RaNdOm-FeLiX> ...
<Dobzilla>
#4
Not a bad start. You have some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be tended to, but otherwise a decent start to a possible Halloween story (providing the line "dying to meet you" was an attempt at foreshadowing).
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#5
the fact that the main person sees himself as some kind of messiah puts alot of people of and the fact that you desribe the surroundings to much slows down the story itself which should be the most important aspect of your story
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#7
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Try something along the lines of "My views struck a chord with the people" instead of resonated...

And does anyone think that this is the sort of thing that Meths dreams of?



I dont know, but the style of writing seems somewhat pretentious. Some of the words seem out of place, ie: "fastidiously". Just like you've gotten a thesaurus, and used a big word for the sake of it. Just my opinion, though.
#8
haha.

Sorry guys.

I dont have a USB , and my school doesnt block UG, so i posted on here so i could copy it back into my school server and edit/finish it =p
#9
Too direct with little detail.

You could open up with the letter, then progressively bring it into the situation. I think the first person narrative will be difficult for this one. On the other hand, bring in situations and detail more thoroughly before the letter.