#1
All you followers of Christ
I will see you again.
To all you sinners who scorn the name
The price will be paid
When I call them home
And you are left to fight the fires
Of the one with horns and tail.
When Armageddon comes upon you
The Devil won't keep you.
Battle between God and Satan
will impose upon the ruins of earth.
You sinners who are unsaved
Perishing.
Heaven and eternal life awaits those
Who pass judgment day.
Your weary, restless soul will reside in Hell.
Last edited by saved_by_Christ at Oct 31, 2007,
#3
I have never read anything this preachy in my life.

I think you could get the same message across without necessarily doing that... I think people are naturally (and rightfully) repulsed by poetry that says they are going to hell. You also use an archetypal image of satan (horns and tail) which everyone has heard so much it doesn't really spark any thought whatsoever. In other words, its cliche, use a more interesting image. There's a few slant rhymes (which either are intentional or not) but since there is no scheme, I think you should get rid of them. Also, this is very prosey... like everday speech. Don't be afraid to use poetic language.

Also..I don't usually critique on content (okay so I do..) but this poem is incredibly self-righteous.
what comes up comes out