#1
Am I making sense, or confusing?
Is this your excuse, or delusion?
You are being robbed, by a villian
Who will never return what is yours

Now its do or die, there's not much left
Once its gone its gone, theres no recess
The clock is a theif, he acts with finesse
He will never return all your time

So, cmon girl, jump in the water
Your feet are already wet...

Dont wait, Dont hesitate
The star you seek
Shoots as you blink
And the clock wont turn the other way
Life's to short to wait
Life's to short to wait

I know that your scared, I am scared too
Of what we could be, myths we could undo
They say love, it never comes true
We'll never know till we take a chance

Remember the show, We finally met
Just like our hands, glistened with sweat
Its only been weeks, feels more like years
I promise you ill calm all your fears

So, cmon girl, jump in the water
Your feet are already wet...

Dont wait, Dont hesitate
The star you seek
Shoots as you blink
And the clock wont turn the other way
Life's to short to wait
Life's to short to wait


C4C
#2
Quote by BigWillE24302
Am I making sense, or confusing?
Is this your excuse, or delusion?
You are being robbed, by a villian
Who will never return what is yours

Now its do or die, there's not much left
Once its gone its gone, theres no recess
The clock is a theif, he acts with finesse
He will never return all your time

So, cmon girl, jump in the water
Your feet are already wet...

this really doesn't seem to fit you may want to remove it entirely

Dont wait, Dont hesitate
The star you seek
Shoots as you blink
And the clock wont turn the other way
Life's to short to wait
Life's to short to wait

why did you repeat the last line?

I know that your scared, I am scared too
Of what we could be, myths we could undo
They say love, it never comes true
We'll never know till we take a chance

try not change from you to I, it doesn't flow , either talk about others, or yourself


Remember the show, We finally met
Just like our hands, glistened with sweat
Its only been weeks, feels more like years
I promise you ill calm all your fears

So, cmon girl, jump in the water
Your feet are already wet...

like i said, really doesn't seem to fit

Dont wait, Dont hesitate
The star you seek
Shoots as you blink
And the clock wont turn the other way
Life's to short to wait
Life's to short to wait


C4C



Overall its not bad, but some of it felt rather choppy, and unfocused. I'd go back and make some changes to some of the things i suggested. If you don't want to remove those two lines, you could also change them.
1966 rickenbacker fireglo 335
78' twin reverb (loud awesome tone)

practice makes practice... never perfect
#3
well, this song is great ,but the beggining of each verse. is a little bit messy. and if i sing it in my mind the ? before the end of the verse stop me in my tracks.