#1
hey all, wrote this tonight, was hoping to get some feedback. Thanks for viewing
- Thom P


Friday, November 02, 2007


Miss Just Tonight

(verse 1)
We came off the road
for a bit of the life spice
for a bit of the night life
and it occurred to me I was under the influence of your spell

My first lost episode
I must've been grinning all night
then turned out the light
I fell off the sides again and woke up not feeling too well

(Chorus)
Oh just something I'd do
On an off chance
Something to put myself through
I'm bored and I'd like to dance
with you

Pulled out a double
the eyes opened right up
cause I'll gladly take trouble
and get my eyes punched shut
if I can't find you

miss just tonight

(verse 2)
So we stayed for the night
drank up on a train bridge
then headed where the bars is
drove downtown and wandered around to the scene

Played a show and did alright
balanced on the ledge
of the crowded center stage
tonight I just might find my tangerine
and if I don't I'll puke my guts out clean

(Chorus)
Oh just something I'd do
On an off chance
Something to put myself through
I'm bored and I'd like to dance
with you

Pulled out a double
the eyes opened right up
cause I'll gladly take trouble
and get my eyes punched shut
if I can't find you

miss just tonight

(bridge)
occurred to me that it's just what I say
make sure you know this time don't go away
#2
It's pretty good. I don't have time to really give it a full review, but maybe you could look at verse 2 again. It just doesn't seem to flow as well as it should with the rest of the song.

It's good overall though. Keep it up. :]