#1
I wrote this song over the course of a few years. First Phase I then a few years later the band wrote Phase II. I'm finally posting it, give me some good criticism. It will be appreciated.

Phase I:

Who loves, God more?
Fill your kids with
Filth and Guilt

Who loves, God more?
Fill your kids with
Filth and Guilt

Blood Distilled, This room is filled
Medicate, the eager willed.

Single File, Two minutes late.
Tell your ****ing kids to;
Sit and wait.
Single file, Two minutes late.
Sacrifice, Hallucinate

Blood Distilled, This room is filled
Medicate, The eager willed
There's much more to give away
Without fear, you're all fake.

Phase II:

The sky is falling
Where's your God now?
In the distance a storm is forming
Stare at the clouds I am sure He's coming.

Up on your chair
You must be so proud
I hear a voice but it's only whispering
I think it's you but I am not listening

Wait for me, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down.
I'll wait here, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down.
Where is your God now?

I thought I could rest on your shoulder
The stories you tell are so misleading
Ripping pages from the book thats feeding
Lies.
To every person that is open
You take no fault for the lives you're ending
The line between faith and hate is slowly blending.

Wait for me, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down.
I'll wait here, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down.
Where is your God now?

Wait for me, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down.
Pray for me, after the wall
After the wall comes tumbling down
(Tumbling down)
Where is your God now?


Thanks everyone.
#2
don't take this the wrong way, but you rhyme too much. your verses could be a little bit longer and without rhymes that start with the same letter. thats when it gets repettive