#1
This is kind of our short little demo for this song. The lyrics are kind of corny at the moment but are about my guitarist and I driving with friends to some random party at the lake. We didn't know anyone there but ended up getting smashed and having a badass time.

http://www.myspace.com/9waystosunday
(titled This Place)

Crit 4 Crit!
#2
For a demo this sounds pretty good. The verse is a nice build up to what I assume will be the chorus. I like the palm muting and arpeggiating. Vocals are pretty decent too. If the little solo bit is eventually going to be the chorus, then it seems like it lays a nice foundation for the vocals. Keep working on this song, it sounds like it's gonna be a good one.

Also, I just have to say I loved your Centerfold cover. Lead guitar, bass, and especially vocals were all great. Rhythm tone was a bit wacky but it's cool. Bass is really loud but you've gotta love that thumping bass.
#3
I like the demo, you really should develop it into a full song. I think it would sound good to go back into a verse again then into a heavy chorus ( the part after finally got to this place),
but hey its your song so do what you want. Keep it up.
#4
The lyrics are only corny if you know what they're about, but they're fine if you don't.

The songwriting is good and I think the piano added a lot to the arrangement.

When the song gets big in what I believe is the chorus there is a lot clipping, use some compression there to control that.

I like it though, continue with it for certain.

I have a song in a similar style finished, crit it please?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=704645
#5
The lyrics are alright i reckon, even with the wonky subject. Should develop more on the awkward feelings and avoid going to cheesy.
It's quite standard though, nothing new going on.
Palm muted bit and arpeggiation is too straightforward, very predictable.
#6
Thanks guys. Yeah we're working on figuring out the final arrangement. Not too sure about a melody for the chorus yet. We're planning on doing another verse with drums into a chorus, maybe a solo, and then a final chorus.