#1
So my parents lectured me about how I'm not "listening" to them. I've told them that was because my mom pisses me off when she talks to me because of her tone of voice. She talks to me like I'm dirt, like an animal and I don't like that, so I have little respect for her. Its just so annoying. I've put up with it for years already, and I've had enough.

What really pissed me off was how my dad was comparing me with other kids in our neighborhood, other kids in my class. The thing is, he can't really compare us because we're so different. I'm in the "smart" kids program at school and most of them are super rich. They have advantages/resources that I don't, so I can't do the same things as them. The thing is, we're too different to compare. He complains about me not waking up on time for school (around, 6:30am or so) but thats because I'm always exhausted from doing homework all night. Why don't I do it during the day then? Its too damn noisy to concentrate. I just couldn't do it during the day. I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood where the ghetto kids drive in cars with loud music blasting and its really annoying.

He talked to me about how he wants me to be successful in the future, and I asked him what defines Success? He said a good job and high income, and I told him he was wrong. A good job to me isn't about income, but about enjoyment. If you do something you love to do, then thats about as good of a job as you can get. That made me start questioning why I'm even in the "smart" kids program anyways? I plan on going to Culinary Arts school, so the classes I'm taking don't really help. The program I'm in is supposed to help you get into college. That's its primary purpose. Not for me. My parents probably won't let me drop that program either. Sigh.

Sorry for wasting your time, but I need a place to vent.
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#3
cant relate entirely, cause i need to get into college so i take these smart calsses

anywasy, my problem was taht those kids were snotty and stuckup
and they all hated me cause iwas smarter than them
sure ididnt get the highest grades, but grades dont mean ****
i was smarter than them and knew infintly mroe than they did
and that made them mad
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#4
i completely understand dude. there really is no way to stop the parents from doing what they are doing. hate to say it but when i graduated from high school and moved out my relationship with my parents got so much better. i was in the advanced programs at school too. my parents are very well off and i had the same opportunities as the rich kids but i shunned them. i've worked since i was 14 and im 20 now. full time job through high school and in my 3rd year of college now. it's tough but you're just gonna have to get by the best you can
#5
The thing that always gets me is the double standards have about their kids being compaired to other kids. meaning; if you want to do something and they say no you say"but everyone is going!" Their response would be "Well you arent everybody, are you?"

but when your doing bad in school your parents say things like "look at jimmy down the street, he gets straight A's, why cant you be more like that?"

only when it is convienient for them will they compare you to other kids, otherwise it is totally unacceptable.
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#6
Quote by The*Music*Man
The thing that always gets me is the double standards have about their kids being compaired to other kids. meaning; if you want to do something and they say no you say"but everyone is going!" Their response would be "Well you arent everybody, are you?"

but when your doing bad in school your parents say things like "look at jimmy down the street, he gets straight A's, why cant you be more like that?"

only when it is convienient for them will they compare you to other kids, otherwise it is totally unacceptable.


yeah man, thats so annoying. ugh.


vjferrara - that gives me some hope. how'd you manage to do that?
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#7
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
cant relate entirely, cause i need to get into college so i take these smart calsses

anywasy, my problem was taht those kids were snotty and stuckup
and they all hated me cause iwas smarter than them
sure ididnt get the highest grades, but grades dont mean ****
i was smarter than them and knew infintly mroe than they did
and that made them mad

I'm sure......
#8
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I'm sure......

Thats the first time I've laughed today. Thank you.
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I voted 9, cause I would only let my mum give me a handjob...

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#10
About the job, yeah, it's good to have a job that you enjoy, but what kind of job is that if you can't support yourself?

I hate being compared to other people too
#11
Can relate.
My dad is an English teacher at my school, so naturally, I'm a bit intelligent. Not as much as i'd like to be but still..
So i'm in these smarter classes too.
My brother was a dropout. I think secretly its disappointed my parents, but they've hidden it. I'm really quite proud of him though. He is a very smart person and he could of gone on to have th kind of "success" your dad wants you to have, but instead, he wanted to be happy, and that meant leaving the school that treated him like ****.
I'd like to be able to tell my parents that I just wanna be happy and that means I don't want to go to uni and become that corpritely successful person like my brother has told them, but everytime i tell them, they just laugh and say "Theres years before you have to think about that."
They think I'm jokeing.

I just want an average job that pays the bills. I just want an average house that I can live comfortably in.
I just dont want to waste my life becoming what my parents want me to be.
But, I dont want to disappoint them. They need one kid that makes them proud or they'll think themselves as failures.
My brother knows that I'll do whatever I can to make my parents happy, and while thinking about this, he started to cry.
Now that touched me...
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#13
I sort of had the same problem with my mother. Sadly, I was a lot smarter than her. She had me at 17, so she never really finished up her education. I still am a lot smarter, and its frustrating because I'm tempted to talk down on her in the heat of an argument.

But she is your mother, she gave you life. You ought to show a little more respect. You'll be 18 soon enough, grin and bare it till then. It's not about whose right or wrong, it's about surviving your teenage years, doing whatever it takes to make it out alive.

I lost two friends. One to suicide and one to drugs. It's not that easy and parents have a hard time understanding that, but you just gotta survive.
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#14
yea i kinda know what you're going through. its only natural for parents to have the occasional talk to you about your future. they all mean well.

as long as you dont sell your car and blow it all on meth, find a job that you can live off they'll be happy
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#15
t3gan +1

Exactly my sentiments. Its our life, so we should live it how we want. Why go for the yacht when you're perfectly fine with what you have now? Money doesn't define success. Success is different for everyone, its just that I feel that i define it as being happy and content with you're life.


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Dont you want a high income job so your kids dont have to be raised in a ****ty neighborhood like you?

You don't need a high income job. Just an average one would be fine. My dad is an immigrant and when we got here in '91, he had an aspiration to buy a business. If he had bought that business he wanted to, I think our lives would have been a lot better and happier. Why didn't he buy it? He was scared that we would get deported if there was another civil war in our country and didn't want to lose it.

He ended up making an under the table deal with a friend of his and they became business partners. The problem is, he's cheating my dad out of a lot of money. Not enough as he should be getting. Because of that, he wasn't able to buy a house, which has really gotten expensive now. He can't go to court about it because there is no evidence. The only record of that deal was when I was 7 years old walking to his house holding a box of cookies (disguised to hide $30,000) with my dad to help buy the business. Not credible enough.

Sigh. I hate my life.
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#16
No offense, but that's not a great excuse for not doing your homework during the day. Try harder.

I'm not blaming anything on you, but just do what you can.
Who dat?
#17
Quote by Chickenparts
I'm sure......


He's just a bad typer.......

I spell like as liek 100% of the time and have to correct myself does that mean I'm stupid?
Soon you will sit on the bench
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You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
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Underground is your joy your laws
#18
Quote by Anarion614
No offense, but that's not a great excuse for not doing your homework during the day. Try harder.

I'm not blaming anything on you, but just do what you can.

I do some of it during the day, like math. But its the reading for english that I can't do. I'll read the book, but I can't understand the plot as its too distracting.

The homework isn't the problem in relation to my grades. I haven't been showing up to my 1st classes of the day (block schedule), and its affecting my grades. Obviously. Why? my brother is supposed to drive me to school, but he's an asshole and doesn't. I end up going late, and if i'm late 3 time in a month, I get sent to detention and miss out on that class. I end up not going to that class If i'm late, and i spend that time trying to catch up on studying. Thats a really stupid policy they set up.

I've told my parents about it, but they think i'm lying. They can't drive me themselves because they're both going to work at 5am and does not have the time to do that.
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#19
Quote by MedicreDemon
He's just a bad typer.......

I spell like as liek 100% of the time and have to correct myself does that mean I'm stupid?

He's also a bit hypocritical, saying he didn't like the smart classes because the kids were snotty and stuck up, and yet he says that he was infinitely smarter than them...
#20
I hope you have something of a thick skin because in my eyes you are simply whining because your parents expect you to have some accountability in your life. You will decide in the end what it is your life will be but in the meantime your parents are trying to guide you so that struggle will not be commonplace in your life as it is mine. I have three children, my eldest is fourteen and my kids no what it is to be poor and go without some of the nicer things in life. My wife is in nursing school so we have lost her income over the last four years and this has been a difficult time for all of us but it will pay off in the end. I am a land surveyor which is something I enjoy and I am one of the few who can honestly say that I like my job but had I done something a bit different like maybe went to college out of high school instead of taking classes now perhaps this **** of living paycheck to paycheck and praying the car doesn't breakdown or no one gets hurt or sick requiring a large co-pay for a Dr. visit or prescription that is not part of my insurance formulary wouldn't be a serious financial issue. I am going to college now because construction is slowing down and unless their is some significant improvement in our government and who they choose to give tax relief to that will continue to be the case therefore I am seeking to improve myself so that I am able to leave the industry that I know and not have to work multiple jobs to replace that income. You do not even have to work in a specific field sometimes just having a degree, preferably a bachelors is enough to get you a good job with good pay. As far as how your parents talk to you all I can say is suck it up and drive on; it is not their place to bestow upon you the utmost courtesy and respect it is your place to give it to them.

John
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”
#21
You definitely shed some different light onto the situation, but I still don't know why I should get a good job. I'm sorry to say this and I'm not trying to offend you, but I'm not going to get kids unless I know i can support them and give them the things that they need.

Thats really horrible man. I really hope your situation improves.
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#22
I cant get over this.
This is my third post praising x_thurston_x
Your a genius, kid.
You are superior to me. I bow down, my friend.
Seriously...


Edit: And I'm not trying to get sigged or anything again. In fact, I demand you dont sig me. I just wanted you to know. (Y)
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Last edited by t3gan at Nov 4, 2007,
#23
Quote by Ta2dPagan
I hope you have something of a thick skin because in my eyes you are simply whining because your parents expect you to have some accountability in your life. You will decide in the end what it is your life will be but in the meantime your parents are trying to guide you so that struggle will not be commonplace in your life as it is mine. I have three children, my eldest is fourteen and my kids no what it is to be poor and go without some of the nicer things in life. My wife is in nursing school so we have lost her income over the last four years and this has been a difficult time for all of us but it will pay off in the end. I am a land surveyor which is something I enjoy and I am one of the few who can honestly say that I like my job but had I done something a bit different like maybe went to college out of high school instead of taking classes now perhaps this **** of living paycheck to paycheck and praying the car doesn't breakdown or no one gets hurt or sick requiring a large co-pay for a Dr. visit or prescription that is not part of my insurance formulary wouldn't be a serious financial issue. I am going to college now because construction is slowing down and unless their is some significant improvement in our government and who they choose to give tax relief to that will continue to be the case therefore I am seeking to improve myself so that I am able to leave the industry that I know and not have to work multiple jobs to replace that income. You do not even have to work in a specific field sometimes just having a degree, preferably a bachelors is enough to get you a good job with good pay. As far as how your parents talk to you all I can say is suck it up and drive on; it is not their place to bestow upon you the utmost courtesy and respect it is your place to give it to them.

John


Well, you sound like you have it together (as in you are doing what you can for your family) and I see what you mean. I just don't think it's a good idea to be a parent and feel like all respect is incoming and never outgoing back to the child(ren). I was raised by two people who demanded my respect, but they also made sure they showed me some in return. Remember, your kids are human beings before they are your children and they still deserve to be treated as such.

BTW, I'm not trying to direct this at you man, I mean it generally I have no idea how it is with you and your family, so I am certainly not trying to tell you what's up. I just wanted to throw my two cents in to the conversation.
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#24
Quote by t3gan
I cant get over this.
This is my third post praising x_thurston_x
Your a genius, kid.
You are superior to me. I bow down, my friend.
Seriously...


Edit: And I'm not trying to get sigged or anything again. In fact, I demand you dont sig me. I just wanted you to know. (Y)


you know if i have room i'm definately going to sig it.
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#25
Buddy, I was exactly like you. I mean EXACTLY. And I can tell from the way you write that you're just the way I was last year and the year before that. My parents were all "You need to be successful so you can support yourself and your family." "I'm never gonna get married! Wah wah wah!"
"You need a good education to get you anywhere in the world today" (at the time, I had been wanting to study music and sound engineering for an Associate Degree )
"Lots of people need music produced and mastered for them! I'll get a job anywhere! Wah wah wah!"

But man, let me tell you something. Jobs aren't what you like to do. Obviously, you have to enjoy your field of work, and you have to be passionate about it, but any job is going to get repetitive. I guarantee you this 100%. Being an auto-mechanic, being a hair stylist, being a rock star. But you have to grit your teeth and do it. If you want to be successful in the world today, you have to be smart. That way, if you make a large sum of money in whatever line of work you do, you can spend the rest of your life doing whatever the hell you feel like. I'd grit down and do it if that's what were to happen.
I'm telling you, I was the exact same way, man. But now that university is actually only a few months away, I realized how stupid it would be of me not to use the fact that I can speak 4 languages and am learning 2 more at the moment, so I decided to double major in Journalism and Mass Communication so that I can go to law school and do International/Corporate Law. Better you realize it now than never, I'd say.
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#26
If a kid has a legitimate career choice that he wants to take, then parents should never interfere with it. Obviously if the kid tries to become a rock star or something like that, the parent should be concerned because that would, most of the time, lead to nowhere. If the child wants to be a lawyer or, in your case, something involving culinary arts, then the parent should not really interfere. They're both good career choices and they have their pros and cons. Your dad shouldn't force you to become some high-end business man, some lawyer who works for a large firm, or a doctor making up to 500k a year.

Things that your parents should have a say in are careers that everyone dreams of. I'm sure every kid wants to become a rockstar, starting quarterback for the New York Giants, and whatnot. But all of those are very risky and just leading a career path into all of that and yet you still wouldn't succeed at it would result in failure. With those, the only way parents should interfere with things like that is by making sure that their son or daughter has a legitimate backup plan because no one can be 100% sure about anything.
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#27
Unless your parents are really old school and are the ones paying for you to go to college then you're pretty much screwed.
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#28
Quote by terrencemaddox
Well, you sound like you have it together (as in you are doing what you can for your family) and I see what you mean. I just don't think it's a good idea to be a parent and feel like all respect is incoming and never outgoing back to the child(ren). I was raised by two people who demanded my respect, but they also made sure they showed me some in return. Remember, your kids are human beings before they are your children and they still deserve to be treated as such.

BTW, I'm not trying to direct this at you man, I mean it generally I have no idea how it is with you and your family, so I am certainly not trying to tell you what's up. I just wanted to throw my two cents in to the conversation.



I do not take any offense to your statements. My kids are treated very well but one thing I do not do is spare them the realities of life. What I was saying about mutual respect should be taken in a relative sense but overall it is the parents/adults in the situation that are to be respected in all manner assuming you are not being asked to behave and or treated in an unsafe or inhumane manner. I believe my kids have benefited greatly by seeing the contrast when both parents were working and now just myself and they also see the difficulty in working and going to school only part time as I do; I don't think my wife could have managed the nursing program and a full time job; at least not both and attain the level of proficiency I believe a nurse should have upon graduation. As for my kids I do not cut them much slack when it comes to school as it is their "job" as I see it although, we also do not pressure them to the point of them climbing into a clock tower and picking off passers by. We only expect them to perform at their ability level as a result I have two straight A students and one who does the best she can given her learning disabilities and even she does better than about 20% percent of her class, I know this because we volunteer as "parent graders" and I see first hand the grades each student gets in math and grammar the two areas she is most affected as she is dyslexic. In the end as parents we simply try and sometimes fail to do the best we can to ensure our children will be better off than we are, whether that be financially or otherwise.
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”
#29
I respect that more than you know. Like I said previously, I can tell that you strive towards doing everything you can for your family, which is clearly paying off.
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