#1
Okay, I'm really bored, and sad, because my parents German Shepherd just killed my 12 year old Pomeranean. So, I need something to cheer me up, and to distract me.

Tell me how you think a battle between these three creatures would go:


Slimer, of Ghost Busters fame.


Gordon Shumway, of A.L.F. fame.


A Xenomorph, from the Aliens Trilogy.

Not multiple Xenomorphs, either. Just one.

Locked in a cage match, how would this battle go?
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#2
Sorry about your dog

That would be epic, my money goes on Alf fo sho.
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#5
I want descriptions of the battle.

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#7
The Xenomorph literally rapes the other combatants before killing them and using their broken husks as the starting point of new life forms. They have no chance to survive, because they don't have armour piercing, explosive rounds to save their sorry arses.

Massacre in favour of the Xenomorph. \m/
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#9
1 - Xenomorph devours Alf, but can't digest him.

2 - Xenomorph pukes Alf up. Alf sits in a puddle of puke saying "Whoa!"

3 - Meanwhile Slimer tries to slime Xenomorph, but Xeno out maneuvers him.

4 - Xeno does Slimer up the pooper, or whatever Slimer has the resembles a pooper.

5 - Millions of little spawn are created, grow quickly, and devour the original three.

6 - Spawn escape the cage and take over the Earth.

7 - Panic ensues. The Spawn kill everything, then turn on each other.

8 - Finally there are only two Spawn left. Shep and Jack.

9 - Jack tells Shep he's about to be raped, then sauted, then eaten for dinner.

10 - Shep says "No frickin way, dude!"

11 - Jack says "Who ya gonna call?"

12 - The End.
Meadows
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#10
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The Xenomorph literally rapes the other combatants before killing them and using their broken husks as the starting point of new life forms. They have no chance to survive, because they don't have armour piercing, explosive rounds to save their sorry arses.

Massacre in favour of the Xenomorph. \m/

The problem with this scenario, though..

Slimer is a Ghost. His body couldn't really be used to birth face huggers. And more importantly, he couldn't possibly be killed by a Xenomorph. And also, there is the rumor that when ghosts pass through you, you feel the chills. Xenomorphs are weakened by cold temperatures, and they are also sometimes distracted by Green Lights. And Slimer has been known to emit green light from time to time.

So, while Slimer is distracting, weakening, and pretty much wrecking the Xenomorph's ****.. Gordon is off in the corner giving some kind of play by play account of the battle to the Audience.

Gordon is obviously the type to want to make an alliance first. And there's no way in hell he's going to side with the Xenomorph, because those things are insane. Slimer is really his only choice. And he's also smart enough to know that Slimer could ALSO call his buddy Sigourney Weaver.

But where does it go from there?
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Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Nov 4, 2007,
#11
The Xenomorph wins unless there's:

1. A convieniently placed spacecraft that can be shot into oblivion and can expel the Xenomorph once there.

2. Armour-piercing, explosive rounds.

3. A vat of boiling hot lead which can be offset by chilled water.

4. A stupid plot device alien/human hybrid that takes emphasis off anything scary and ****s up the whole story with its stupid antics.

5. Predators with plasma weaponry

6. A really big f*cking bomb.

See, it's just really, really hard to hurt a Xenomorph because of its thick exoskeleton and the fact that it just does not care about insults you hurl at it. Alf, therefore, is right out of the picture.
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Mastering your instrument is being able to play whatever you hear in your head, unhindered by inadequate technique. After that, it's all about what you've got to say, so there would be no "best," just a bunch of people saying exactly what they mean.
#15
slimer could go through the bars, he can go thruogh walls so he could go through the bars an he'd get the ghost busters and they'd kill alien, wh has already killed Alf

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I think the TS will know what to do next

#17
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They have no chance to survive


They probably should think about making their time then.
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#19
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lol Alf would get ****ed over by the xenomorph

And what of Slimer?
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I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#20
The sheer rubbishness that is Alf would repel the other two, like garlic repels vampires. And then, when the bars of the cage prevent further retreat, the Xenomorph and Slimer would simply implode.
#21
Well it would be revealed that the xenamorph is actually a breed of cat on it's planet and after ALF eats the xenamorph Slimer moves in to possess slimer and have slimer kill himself in an uncoventional way.
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