#1
Long title, moderate length song. Wrote it OTS in about ten minutes, changed two words when I looked over it, and then just let it be. Leave some feedback if you've got the time. If not, thanks for reading.


"Take it just one breath at a time
Because keeping a clear head will do you well.
Don't worry the voice you're hearing is mine,
If you make it through this won't it be a story to tell?"
The sound of footsteps echoes more like thunder
As the pounding in your head grows worse
Be sure to keep it above the water, don't go under
Wouldn't do to haul you off in an ambulance or hearse

Isn't it brilliant how this is always the outcome
Even with past knowledge, I'm still not one to be outdone
It always starts out as something we say is just for fun
But the first is a bullet and the last the gun

"To new beginnings," we always shout
As the deluge starts, but tomorrow comes the drought
And as the essence dries from the spout
We're left feeling hollow inside and out

Sometimes I wonder if I could truthfully say
That I know I could make it without just for one day
But a lie is a lie, and so I'm left here to pray
Someone, anyone, save me from myself
#2
I sounds good so far. I need to know what type of song it is.
#3
At the time that I wrote it I was listening to the band Circa Survive, but when I picture it arranged and finished in my head it has two vocalists interchanging during the middle of lines and a lot of fluctuations in tempo. It builds up steadily through the first stanza, then the second is when it breaks back down, third is the build up once again, and then finally the last one is when everything cuts out but one undistorted guitar.

Honestly the only thing that I can compare it to is an obscure band that broke up in 2003 named Beloved.
#4
Honestly I'm not sure what this is about. I found it a bit vague. After reading three times over the only thing I can say for sure it that its about some sort of ordeal or trying time, and sounds a little like an innter monologue of the protagonist, but I couldnt get anything more specific that from it.
Dont get me wrong, its good. You ahve some good rhyme and weight to your words, but what the words actually mean is hard to tell. I thought perhaps its either about something very personal, or about something not personal at all, and that was the reason.
I'd like to know who you're talking to when you say "the voice you're hearing is mine", because if I'm right and its an inner monologue, and you're talking to yourself, then it sounds a bit wrong. I also couldnt be sure if the line "keep your head above the water, dont go under" was allegorical for something else, or literal, and it is actually about someone drowning or something. If this is the case you should make it more specific. In fact you should do that anyway.
However, it was good, interesting imagery and quite original. Just maybe think about what you're trying to say or describe (I bear in mind you wrote it quickly). Other than that, nice. C4C?