#1
So I have to write a short Thanksgiving play for some elementary school kids. It's supposed to be about the first Thanksgiving set in 1620. So I gotta work in the whole bit where the pilgrims first encounter the native americans.

In one seen I want a group of kids who play Chiefs to walk up one at a time and say they're name.

Like so:
Chief 1: "I am called Chief blah blah blah"
Chief 2: "I am called...."

And so on and so forth. What I need your help with is coming up with funny, crude, suggestive Chief names that the kids might not notice but will make any watching adults have to hold back their laughter. All I got so far is Chief Squatting Dog.

Also, at one point in the middle of it, I thought it would be funny to have one of the Chiefs just say "Hey, I'm Larry"
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#2
Get A Life!
I'm so sorry, excuse me for living,
I didn't know, didn't know your a psycho!
-Carolines Spine "Psycho"
#3
chief kill all the white people for sure.

seriously.. you're a dink.
Grammar and spelling omitted as an exercise for the reader.
#5
Aw, I haven't seen Man Of The House in ages.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#6
Chief of broken treaties
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#7
Quote by Randy_Rhoads44
Get A Life!


I have a life outside of this pit where I play in an active local band.

And I also have a good paying job which is why I'm doing this play. As well as co-workers with a sense of humor.

But most of all it's THE PIT. Telling someone who goes to school, has a job, and plays in a band to get a life while you yourself are in The Pit is pretty damn retarded.
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#9
Write it in a way that describes how things really happened back then (no happy turkey dinner, just scalping and castration). Just pick words for the names, it can be anything. Like Chief Rotting Carcass or something.
#10
Quote by Kensai
Chief of broken treaties


That one made me LOL
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#12
Quote by Seymore190
Write it in a way that describes how things really happened back then (no happy turkey dinner, just scalping and castration). Just pick words for the names, it can be anything. Like Chief Rotting Carcass or something.


I did kind of have the idea in the back of my mind to make it historically accurate and include all the scalping of pilgrims and muskets to the chestplates of natives. Understandably toned down of course. But it's no surprise that I got the no go from my superiors. I'm almost a little ashamed that I have to feed a shiny lie to another generation of kids. But oh well, no point in getting all rebellious over a 10 minute 4th grade play.
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#13
well it's a little racy, but the first could say i'm chief ku, the next i'm chief klux, and the next klan...but you know...
one could also say hi, i'm chief i don't talk to strangers
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#15
Quote by ChaoticVengence
well it's a little racy, but the first could say i'm chief ku, the next i'm chief klux, and the next klan...but you know...
one could also say hi, i'm chief i don't talk to strangers


ChaoticVengence takes the lead.
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#17
All i am saying is that anyone who is trying to sneak crude jokes into an ELEMENTARY school play so they can get off watching little kids say things they don't understand is a douche, and therefore needs to grow up! how about you have some respect for these kids hard work to do this play and let them have fun in their play and let the parents enjoy watchin their kids, but i guess respect is something you don't understand.
I'm so sorry, excuse me for living,
I didn't know, didn't know your a psycho!
-Carolines Spine "Psycho"
#18
hehe no poke fun its better,how about, chief we believe you wont take our land
#19
Quote by Kensai
Chief of broken treaties

For that matter, just go with Chief of Broken Wind.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#20
i dont know about thanksgiving it should be called we will take it thanks
#22
Quote by Randy_Rhoads44
All i am saying is that anyone who is trying to sneak crude jokes into an ELEMENTARY school play so they can get off watching little kids say things they don't understand is a douche, and therefore needs to grow up! how about you have some respect for these kids hard work to do this play and let them have fun in their play and let the parents enjoy watchin their kids, but i guess respect is something you don't understand.



First of all, these kids don't even want to do this play. Most would rather play football all day which is what we're doing next week as a reward. The play is mandatory. Their parents won't be there, they're performing to an audience of 1st and 2nd graders who would also rather be playing outside or drawing and will likely not even be paying attention.

Second, I'm not actually going to pick the most offensive ones sherlock. Kensai's "Chief of Broken Treaties" is exactly what I'm looking for. I can enjoy the humor in ChaoticVengence's idea but I'm not actually going to use it. So don't ever go off an a tangent and try to twist it to say I'm getting off watching kids say things they don't understand you sick ****. That's not funny.

Third, there are other things in this world for you to cry about. Pick one.
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#23
Chief whose land will be stolen and raped by the coniving white man.
#24
Quote by Draken
Chief whose land will be stolen and raped by the coniving white man.


lol some of you guys are getting passionate about this.

Eh but **** it, it's true anyways.

And I like K-Lizzle's Chief of Broken Wind
No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shaftesbury... with hooligans...
#26
Quote by Child Of Maiden
First of all, these kids don't even want to do this play. Most would rather play football all day which is what we're doing next week as a reward. The play is mandatory. Their parents won't be there, they're performing to an audience of 1st and 2nd graders who would also rather be playing outside or drawing and will likely not even be paying attention.

Second, I'm not actually going to pick the most offensive ones sherlock. Kensai's "Chief of Broken Treaties" is exactly what I'm looking for. I can enjoy the humor in ChaoticVengence's idea but I'm not actually going to use it. So don't ever go off an a tangent and try to twist it to say I'm getting off watching kids say things they don't understand you sick ****. That's not funny.

Third, there are other things in this world for you to cry about. Pick one.


All I will say is try to be fair to both sides, I'm a little less than half Native American and when people (including little kids) dress up as "Indians" it comes across as very offensive to Natives...wearing feathers, headbands etc are all sacred symbols to some tribes. Even though there aren't going to be any parents there just try not to give kids the impression we all still live in tipi's, wear buckskin leggings and smoke a peace pipe. That stuff sticks with them and I still get asked alot where my tipi is, why aren't I riding a horse and why isn't my last name something like Sitting Bull
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#27
Chief Boy-ar-dee
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