#1
I don't really kno how to explain this. this is just a random song i came up with while i was bored in class. its about facing the past and moving forward without it. it goes along with this girl i know.

The Cure for HIV and the Carrier of AIDs

Verse 1:
Unjustified
This vicious cycle
For ****ing pride
You must end this

Verse 2:
your slutty ways
Could hurt your rep
You choose to stay
And tighten your grip

Prechorus:
Stay the **** away (X3)
Until you change your ways

Chorus:
You finally realize the damage you've done
Taking no self-pity, taking no pity from no one
You seek help coming to me for answers
That you know I cannot give

Verse 3:
All I can tell you is this:

You're going to kill yourself
The way you're going in life
Stop ****ing around the circle
And stick to one

Prechorus/chorus/breakdown

Chorus (X2)

Outro:
She looked at me with tears in her eyes
She gave me a warm embrace
With a warm heart and a calm voice
I tell her,

"Ilove you."


That's it hope you'll enjoy. C4C. if anyone has something really bad to say, keep it to urself, i except all other criticism. if it sucks keep it to urself.
#2
I'm hoping to assume that when you say someone has something "really bad to say", you meant something extreme. Otherwise you're just looking for attention. So, with that in mind...

Not quite sure if you're throwing out a positive or negative vibe with those lyrics. They also don't flow very well. You could really use a few tweaks here and there, such as:

"You finally realize the damage you have done
Ignoring self-pity and other pity from anyone"

instead of:

"You finally realize the damage you've done
Taking no self-pity, taking no pity from no one"

Just my opinion.
mmmk.
#3
Wow, What an angry Vibe.
First off, some of it really doesn't flow well tbh.
Like:
Verse 1:
Unjustified
This vicious cycle
For ****ing pride
You must end this

you could have:

Verse 1:
So Unjustified,
Such a Vicious Cycle.
All for ****ing Pride,
This must come to an end.

or something. Reword some of it.
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