#1
The original idea and first two or so minutes of this piece have been concieved for ages but I frustratingly hadn't been able to add to it. These last couple of days I've had a rush of ideas for it and it's now 7 and a half minutes long. You know, I think I've got a pretty unique sound because when it came to naming the genre for this thread I honestly couldn't think what it was However I'm probably listening to it in a slightly biased way, so any labels would actually be helpful.

Crits returned of course.

Note: The midi conversion from the GP file really sounds terrible in comparison to playing it in GP.
Attachments:
Eclipse.zip
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Nov 7, 2007,
#2
the intro is nice, it reminds me of goodbye for now by POD.
the electric part following the intro is weird, i think gp has a lot to do, anyway once the lead kicks in it gets better, the break at 57 and solo following are awesome, the harmonies sound very cool and the comeback at 111 sounds even better. Great song, great job!

mind critting mine? ( new one in sig) thanks.
#3
First thing. Compared to your older material I've viewed, this has quite matured to say the least. This was more then a pleasure to listen to. The Cello flowed great with the intro. There's alot that stand out, Especially the solo. I liked the mutes and the use of more sweeping and tapping. Truly epic when it fades out and fades back in. I loved the constant cello/viola. This was amazing. Sorry if my typing is a bit unorganised. I'm still awestruck.

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#4
cheers for the crit mate - and in return: (as i listen for 2nd time)

As has been said already, the cello fits in really well, loving the way everything builds up (bar 9 onwards) - the drums throughout are brilliant, just really well written. Quite like the slide on guitar 2 as well, simple but works well. Drums from 27 onwards again give it life - good effort! Also, really good use of mutes on guitar 1 from 30 onwards....nothing to dislike so far, nice

35 on: like guitar 1 and the way it sort of even harmonises with cello. From 43 is probable one of the best use of power chords I've ever seen! Just works really well, BUT (probably my only negative comment!) bar 46 could use some strings an octave above with the staccatto'd chords...would just give the epic feel. Other than that again a perfect section.

Not too fond of the section beginning bar 59. Tbh I always think that 7/8 time should only be used alternating bars, it's not bad but just sounds a tad messy. That said, the tapping harmony was beautiful - that bit works wonderfully, especially highlighted when you switch back to 4/4.

Re-Intro at 103 - nice to see this crop up again for another big build-up, and love the way the tapping fades back in, good drumming in again! And here are those awesome powerchords! Plus I really like the high Viola on 126 - maybe do a bit more with that?

And then we fade out, nice choice of chords for guitar 2; good to see it's not the stock powerchords. Personally I prefer songs that fade out on a note or chord rather than a riff, but that's just preference - either way it's a good ending.

So, summary:

- Love the drums throughout, very fitting
- Beautiful tapping section and a lovely harmony
- Good use of cello and viola, nice to see something different

However:

- would really love to see strings above those powerchords at 46, they're just crying out for them
- not totally sure the constant 7/8 section is entirely necessary...then again it'll probably grow on me.

Overall 9/10 - very good example of post-rock. Nice and atmospheric and well-focussed. Cheers again for crit, good luck. Ben
#5
Quote by b101


- would really love to see strings above those powerchords at 46, they're just crying out for them


I presume you mean the strings should play a different note to the root that the guitars are playing? Cause the strings are still there, they just aren't as defined cause they're all playing the same note. I'll see if another harmony works.

EDIT: Got something, that better?
Attachments:
Eclipse with b46 strings.zip
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Nov 7, 2007,
#6
erm - well this was my idea, see what you think (totally your call of course!)
Attachments:
edit.zip
#7
Hmm, it's cool but I don't think it's really worth adding a whole track for.

Also I've edited those two bars (near the beginning and end) so the first one has the normal rhythm and the second one has the staccatos, a lot more powerful that way. It's in the first post.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#8
yeah - was only added for the idea, definitely no need for a whole track. sounds good, really digging the staccatos
#9
I really liked the intro, it was really good. Its really cool how you used the cello and viola. The drums came in nice, but got kinda boring(at the beggining for the first part they came in)until it changed finally. The power chord part sounded great. loved the solo part. btw, your drums are so much better than i could ever do :P
#10
Pretty awesome,
Not my sorta thing at all so its a good sign i liked it
The 7/8 part was pretty nice and that whole tapping bit with the harmonies was sick
Overall i liked the peice, the drums were imaginative and the song really flows and progresses well through to the end.

If you could crit either of the songs in my sig it would be great thanks
Watch out for FLOODS exploding onto the UK Deathcore scene this summer.
#11
Sorry but I didn't like it. Too simple and boring. That solo was crappy because its too repeating. I didn't find any good melody what stucks in my mind.
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#12
Quote by Hypetreme
Sorry but I didn't like it. Too simple and boring. That solo was crappy because its too repeating. I didn't find any good melody what stucks in my mind.


...too simple? Did you LOOK at the song?

I can handle negative crit but that's basically just a load of bullshit.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#14
Pretty F*#%en Epic song man. Except Darkest Hour already has a song called "Eclipse" your songs pretty dope though. What kind of Vocals are you planning to throw in with that?
#15
I'm sure Darkest Hour won't mind

And the song's instrumental, though if it ever comes to recording I might put in a couple of background vocals or a line or two in a couple of parts. No full vocal parts though.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Nov 14, 2007,
#16
I could scream High's and Low's throughout that whole song...OooooaaaaaahhhhhHHH!
#17
But that would sound terrible.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#19
Sorry for the delayed return crit.

This song is different to say the least. It really gave off this dreamy, surreal vibe. I loved the intro, but it kind of felt like it built up to nothing. My biggest problem with this song was that it never seemed to pick up steam. This really has nothing to do with how good or bad the writing of the song is, but I kept wanting to hear something a little more energetic, especially from the drums. It left me feeling a little unsatisfied, because you had the powerchord strumming part at 29, but the drums didn't seem to get any more exciting. I would maybe get some more flow into that part or maybe during the solo, but it's really just preference I guess. I thought the part at 36 and all the times it showed up again got a little old because it was used so much. I really liked the part at 41, but, again, I would have liked to see a little more energy here. The 7/8 part was good, and I absolutely loved the solo. It was very unique with the syncopated accents andthe tapping. The repetition after this got a little old, though. Good song, but definately not my cup of tea.
#20
Quote by onebetter
Sorry for the delayed return crit.

This song is different to say the least. It really gave off this dreamy, surreal vibe. I loved the intro, but it kind of felt like it built up to nothing. My biggest problem with this song was that it never seemed to pick up steam. This really has nothing to do with how good or bad the writing of the song is, but I kept wanting to hear something a little more energetic, especially from the drums. It left me feeling a little unsatisfied, because you had the powerchord strumming part at 29, but the drums didn't seem to get any more exciting. I would maybe get some more flow into that part or maybe during the solo, but it's really just preference I guess. I thought the part at 36 and all the times it showed up again got a little old because it was used so much. I really liked the part at 41, but, again, I would have liked to see a little more energy here. The 7/8 part was good, and I absolutely loved the solo. It was very unique with the syncopated accents andthe tapping. The repetition after this got a little old, though. Good song, but definately not my cup of tea.


There were certainly buildups, the main riff part at bar 35 will be BIG if it ever comes to recording a full version. Same with the powerchord sections at 119 and 43.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#22
Don't worry, don't worry, I'm here

The intro sounded grand, although it sounds a lot like one of your other songs, unless i just listened to this before and am remembering that.
Oh well.

The bit where the Cello came in was great, although I would like to have heard it carry on a similar pattern to that of bar 5.

Oh no, not a metronome marker I hate the sound of them tbh, but I can't say I've heard one in real life, so meh.

The Viola melody was awesome as well, I like the way it doesn't resolve in bar 16, then just continues on. My only complaint would be that bar 20 to me just sounds forced on, it's a bit too fast too sudden.

The parts leading to bar 35 were just like o_O
I don't know if that's intentional or not, guess it's just now my thing.
And bar 35 + were great, again.

59 sounded awkward to me. In my opinion the problem here is that you can't have a drum beat like that during it, it would be better having a drum beat in 7/8 that sounds a bit odd rather than having the violin and everything in 7/8 but the drums figured as 4/4

But yeah, good stuff.
The tapping was awesome
#23
The guitar leading to bar 35 wouldn't be constant 6 string muting obviously, it's just to get that rhythm strong in the guitar as well as the snare. On the 7/8 and 4/4 polyrhythm in the drums, I just think it gives it a bit of a backbone, the awkwardness in bits of it is intentional too because when the guitar comes in it kind of rounds it off a bit before the solo which uses a 7/8 beat.

The metronome marker effect is just the closest thing I could find to a rim shot btw.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.