#1
An unusual one for me, I don't usually write angry ones. But then again, a good 'ol scene/emo/hometown hate never hurt anyone.

Enjoy

Bleeding Breeds

Your lie I guess, was bigger than it seemed
I am soaking in a candy-coated, color-coded dream
I misdirect
Politically correct
My memories, are all but bursting at the seam
I just can’t take it, I just can’t take this

Our camouflage, catastrophe montage
A sickly melody I can no longer dislodge
I misbehave
Bad habits that you crave
Misappropriated by the lack life I’m running to my grave
I just can’t take it, I just can’t take this

Champing at the bit
Sparking shades of your color till all the lines are slit
Save your face, or at least a little bit
Save all your face, at least save me a piece
As my motions start to cease
I am screaming sick release

Blood is the new black
Launching an anti-makeup running attack
Oh before I get off track
Cut my selflessness some slack
Admit the things you lack
And take your pity back.

Sinning slivers sucking leeches of your speeches all dry
I’m pulling the pin and waiting for reply
Dimming dangers of these strangers I am sinking in
On such a high throne your blood is running thin
Begging bargains of a bastard breed
Every note you breathe will binge and bleed
For in this valley of orchids you are but a weed
#2
hey man

this is the wrong section for original work. This belongs in the main s&l forum. This is the techniques forum which covers other discussions, not critiques. Good luck!


*reported*
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me