#1
Its my first.. so, cut me some slack. I also didn't think of a melody at all. I'm thinking more along the lines of country.

The Pathological Liar

Don’t fill my head with lies
Don't confuse me with those eyes
As I struggle to seek what’s true
I only want to believe in you

Every moment has its meaning
You just can't be that deceiving
Each smile and kiss from your lips
Makes me believe that you won't slip

But who am I to judge what’s real
I make things up just to feel
Maybe there’s some truth behind the lies
But then again something inside me dies
Because I know those lies are mine.

I only see what I choose to see
Ignore the facts and let it be
So used to looking for the good
Keep saying you're just misunderstood.

With every word you say
I hang on to it with dismay
Yet still I keep on hoping
That you do feel something

But who am I to judge what’s real
I make things up just to feel
Maybe there’s some truth behind the lies
But then again something inside me dies
Because I know those lies are mine.

In the end, it’s all a lie.
In the end, it’s my lie.
#3
Wel Since it'syour first onne . I'll try to give u bothfeedback and advise . Some of ur line sare really cliche and predictible but some of the lines are good also .. The flow of your song is really good and It can be wasily fitted to different genres . Your rhyme scheme is
"AABB" . Even though it's not a bad rhyme scheme . Try to write independent of rhyme schemes . That way u get more freedom to express urself . I felt like there were Some places where u could have said something much deeper or shall i say orignal but because
of rhyme u didn't do it . read the stickies they;ll help u for future stuff. My first song sucked
as compared to urs.

Hi
#4
As the others said, definitely trying toying around with different rhyming throughout this.

But overall, I didn't find anything needing for me to specifically tackle. I really really enjoyed this and this is definitely the kind of song I'd find myself googling the lyrics for and just sitting there taking it all in. And then quoting it for my msn name, haha.
i look down at my hands,
like they were mirrors.
#5
The ryhming was a bit chessy but I like the theme, you might want to incorporate a few hooks. The flow was excellant but it seems a bit predictable and tame to be honest. Still there is potential.
#6
aw wow, thanks. definitely gonna try to alter this one a bunch.

Enigmatic:
thanks for the really ego boosting comment!


I would crit 4 crit, but since im just learning whats good, I'll crit on a later date when I am more qualified to crit