#1
just had the most basic idea and tell me what you think of it,i'm just starting so don't refrain from telling me it sucks

down for the count
the fight goes on
with blood and tears
the strength's withdrawn

earth is unlike my world
with voices that can't be heard
flowing tears seem to shine
dripping blood tells what's mine
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.
#2
Well, I think I like the basic idea, but then again, it's hard to tell exactly what it's about. Also, the stanzas don't match eachother...they don't have the same rhythm or rhyme in the same places. But I think if you rework it and expand on your idea, it could be great. This has potential!!
#3
thanks,but i really don't know anything much about writing since i'm just starting,this is my second lyics
i probably should read the faq

anyone else care to comment???
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.