#1
im really bored so i just thought we could share our funy sex activities.
i guess you could explain it by things that you do during sex that are funny but not characterized by having sex.

for example: The Avalanche- At the top of a set of stairs where your girlfriend is giving you head, you qucikly pull out and nut on her, followed by a kick down the stairs.

or
The Alaskan Pipeline- Poo in a condom, freeze it and later use it on her...

i think these can be the funniest things i have ever heard.
hopefully it wont get closed.
#4
Kicking your girlfriend down the chairs? You're obviously turned on by restriction orders and lawsuits. Poo in a condom then use it? I don't think that'd be very funny for you, seeing as you're a guy.
I'm a communist. Really.
#5
Quote by Raziel2p
Kicking your girlfriend down the chairs? You're obviously turned on by restriction orders and lawsuits. Poo in a condom then use it? I don't think that'd be very funny for you, seeing as you're a guy.

it would be awesome, and i mean really awesome if you could read.

GTFO
#7
The pirate:

Set up: doggy style, you standing, she kneeling on the bed.

Go at it pretty hard. When you're about to bust, , pull out, moan and spit on her lower back. She'll think you came on her. She'll turn around, and when she does, bust your nut in her eye.

This is called the pirate because when you bust in her eye she'll make an 'awwww' sound, as in dissapointment, not cuteness, and she'll rub it out of her eye with one crooked finger, like a pirates hook.
#8
going through The Pit i think all of the last 40 threads include the words "sex" "penis" "boobs" and/or "arooga!"

*walks away from forum until i realize UG is the only course of exsistence on a tuesday night*

edit: ^ i now realize it's wensday
My You'll be the Baddest Dude in Revere!


My Gear:
-Fender Mexican Stratocaster
-Silvertone Paul Stanley Signature Acoustic
-Fender Princeton 65w
-DOD Death Metal
Last edited by The_Seventh_Sin at Nov 7, 2007,
#9
Quote by skeptopotamus
The pirate:

Set up: doggy style, you standing, she kneeling on the bed.

Go at it pretty hard. When you're about to bust, , pull out, moan and spit on her lower back. She'll think you came on her. She'll turn around, and when she does, bust your nut in her eye.

This is called the pirate because when you bust in her eye she'll make an 'awwww' sound, as in dissapointment, not cuteness, and she'll rub it out of her eye with one crooked finger, like a pirates hook.

i thought it was when she was standing, so when you nut in her eye you could kick her in the shin so she woould hop like a pirate with one leg (pegleg) ?
#10
strawberry shortcake.

gettin head, right before you jizz, pull out and squirt on her face. than punch her in the nose.


the rusty trombone

when a chick is anal rimming you and giving you a handjob from behind. she appears to be playing a rather rusty trombone.
ehh
#11
Quote by skeptopotamus
The pirate:

Set up: doggy style, you standing, she kneeling on the bed.

Go at it pretty hard. When you're about to bust, , pull out, moan and spit on her lower back. She'll think you came on her. She'll turn around, and when she does, bust your nut in her eye.

This is called the pirate because when you bust in her eye she'll make an 'awwww' sound, as in dissapointment, not cuteness, and she'll rub it out of her eye with one crooked finger, like a pirates hook.


^^u know, my boyfriend did that to me, but i was stoned on xanax so i just laughed my head off.

u guys are sick.

but funny
Quote by zappp
Sammi-Ellen is my australian (wish i had aborted) daughter!!
#12
Quote by skeptopotamus
The pirate:

Set up: doggy style, you standing, she kneeling on the bed.

Go at it pretty hard. When you're about to bust, , pull out, moan and spit on her lower back. She'll think you came on her. She'll turn around, and when she does, bust your nut in her eye.

This is called the pirate because when you bust in her eye she'll make an 'awwww' sound, as in dissapointment, not cuteness, and she'll rub it out of her eye with one crooked finger, like a pirates hook.



I think that move is called "The Phantom" ...cuz it's like a phantom attacking her face...pew pew
Statistics can be used to prove anything.

14% of people know that.
#13
Quote by skeptopotamus
The pirate:

Set up: doggy style, you standing, she kneeling on the bed.

Go at it pretty hard. When you're about to bust, , pull out, moan and spit on her lower back. She'll think you came on her. She'll turn around, and when she does, bust your nut in her eye.

This is called the pirate because when you bust in her eye she'll make an 'awwww' sound, as in dissapointment, not cuteness, and she'll rub it out of her eye with one crooked finger, like a pirates hook.


omfg!!! that hte funniest thing ive heard in a long time
The sex offenders register.. personally, i don't even think they should be in school.
#14
Quote by The_Seventh_Sin
going through The Pit i think all of the last 40 threads include the words "sex" "penis" "boobs" and/or "arooga!"

*walks away from forum until i realize UG is the only course of exsistence on a tuesday night*



It's wed.....
#15
Quote by guitarguy17
it would be awesome, and i mean really awesome if you could read.

GTFO

I don't understand this argument. And if you failed to understand so, my reply was simply a way of saying that, in my opinion, this isn't funny, it's just stupid.
I'm a communist. Really.
#16
JELLY DONUT: when a girl gives you head you blow your load all over her face and then you punch her in her nose so a little blood comes out onto the white...

BENEDICT ARNOLD: do a chick from behind, pull out and blow your load in your hand, but spit on her back, when she turns around you smear the load all over her face

BENEDICT ARNOLD #2: (not really sex, but funny anyways) you go in a bathroom and take all the toilet paper out of the stall next to you, go in the other and wait, when someone asks you to hand them some toilet paper you say yes. when they reach underneath you take a **** in their hand and leave
#17
Quote by Raziel2p
Kicking your girlfriend down the chairs? You're obviously turned on by restriction orders and lawsuits. Poo in a condom then use it? I don't think that'd be very funny for you, seeing as you're a guy.

woo VG cats.

I don't have any funny sex activities...
#18
oh
just remembered another.
the snarling dragon- nut while she is deep throating you. she cant swallow it cuz you are in the way, she cant cough it up for obvious reasons, so it comes out of her nose, and her choking face appears to snarl.
#20
Quote by Guitarfreak777
It's wed.....


My You'll be the Baddest Dude in Revere!


My Gear:
-Fender Mexican Stratocaster
-Silvertone Paul Stanley Signature Acoustic
-Fender Princeton 65w
-DOD Death Metal
#21
The Sniper

your doing a chick from behind, and right before you jizz you pull out and spit on her back. when she turns her head to see wtf happened, you jizz straight into her face (preferably her eye to be like the sniper in saving private ryan) and than scream "BOOM HEADSHOT"
ehh
#22
Quote by bmac85
JELLY DONUT: when a girl gives you head you blow your load all over her face and then you punch her in her nose so a little blood comes out onto the white...

That's a strawberry shortcake.


I still say Alabama Hot Pocket would be "funnier" to some....
#23
I've also heard the Avalanche being used another way;

When a really fat man is getting head he must hold up his fat rolls for the girl to access his penis. so right before he is about to come the man yells avalanche and drops his fat on her head.

#25
Quote by Garret.
I've also heard the Avalanche being used another way;

When a really fat man is getting head he must hold up his fat rolls for the girl to access his penis. so right before he is about to come the man yells avalanche and drops his fat on her head.



omg
thats a win
#26
The Dutch Oven:
Your having sex with a girl under a large blanket. Stick your head out from the covers and fart under them and trap the girl under the covers with the fart in it.
#27
Alaskan pipeline is like frozen eddie plus one condom. Mushroom stamp: Press your nob on her forehead until it leaves a red, mushroom shaped mark.

ToxEDIT- We used to call my old computer teacher mushroom stamp... fro no particular reason other than because it was funny.
-Tox

ಠ_ಠ
WHOT?
#28
Quote by FireandFlames
That's a strawberry shortcake.


I still say Alabama Hot Pocket would be "funnier" to some....


if the alabama hot pocket is what im thinking of than it is definetly appealing to the crowd in the /pit/
ehh
#29
The Rodeo / Bull-Rider :

When doing a girl from behind, wrap your legs around hers, and whisper in her ear, "I love you, (insert other girls name here)," and see how long you can hang on.
#30
Quote by rooster456
The Rodeo / Bull-Rider :

When doing a girl from behind, wrap your legs around hers, and whisper in her ear, "I love you, (insert other girls name here)," and see how long you can hang on.



haha +1
Statistics can be used to prove anything.

14% of people know that.
#31
The Alaskan Snow Dragon:

When a girl is giving you head, blow your load in her mouth. Then hold her mouth shut, and tickle here, forcing the semen out her nose, hence the name, "Alaskan Snow Dragon."


I've got a million of them.
#32
Quote by rooster456
The Rodeo / Bull-Rider :

When doing a girl from behind, wrap your legs around hers, and whisper in her ear, "I love you, (insert other girls name here)," and see how long you can hang on.


EPIC
#33
Sticky Pimp- when you are getting head then jizz on your hand then slap her in the face and say wheres my money biatch
#34
Quote by rooster456
The Alaskan Snow Dragon:

When a girl is giving you head, blow your load in her mouth. Then hold her mouth shut, and tickle here, forcing the semen out her nose, hence the name, "Alaskan Snow Dragon."


I've got a million of them.

MOAR!
I got none
#35
to the BENEDICT ARNOLD#2 hahahahahaha im so compelled to do that now, except, id take a log **** first, put on a glove and pick it up out of the toilet, and drop it in their hand, so i could easily run out and not get caught.

to The Rodeo, it's your doing her from behind, then you wrap around her and whisper in her ear,"I have AIDS"


to The Phantom, it's like this

The Phantom/The Switcheroo

You're doing a girl from behind, and you say, "hold on i'll be right back" then a friend takes over and you run down and wave at her through a window while she's looking

The Beefcake

Have sex after the girl had just got done recently taking a ****.
while you're pounding her, switch to anal.
after about 3 minutes, ask for some head, and in goes the pen0r with some nice "beef" all over it

The Glue Gun

when having sex, when the girl says ,"i'm gonna cum!" you pull out and cum over her hole first, and let it drag all the way up to her asshole

The Piledriver

When 69'ing lying down, stand up while still doing it, then drop down to your knees and let her head hit the floor

The Chokeslam

When you cum in her mouth, if she doesn't swallow, you pick her up and choke slam her into the "spit"


P.S. I made up the last 4, I like thinking of these crazy things
#37
Alaskan Prarie Fire:

You procede set fire to the female's pubic hair, and then quench the flame with your jizz. Not to be done around gas stations.


Still want more?
#38
The Tropical Rainfall

After you cum on a girls face, she'll still be kneeling there for awhile.
Proceed to piss all over her in a spraying way by holding your thumb a little on
the piss line


rooster456

We're good at this thing I guess
#39
Quote by MrDURPEEDURP
The Tropical Rainfall

After you cum on a girls face, she'll still be kneeling there for awhile.
Proceed to piss all over her in a spraying way by holding your thumb a little on
the piss line


rooster456

We're good at this thing I guess



I've never pissed immediately after an orgasm. I don't think it's possible.

Sorry, but phail. Keep them coming though, we're on a roll.
-----------------------------------------^^^^^^^^-----Pun!
Last edited by rooster456 at Nov 7, 2007,